I just got a spam email from “Roxanne C. Murdock.” She told me to buy “MegaDik,” and assured me, “You won’t believe your eyes when you see your new penis size!” Upon reflection, I decided Ms. Murdock’s email was a little off-target because I wouldn’t believe my eyes if I noticed I had grown any…
Cute/Funny/Weird
Ma Nah Ma Nah
Since Sunday, I’ve had Muppets on the brain. “Ma nah ma nah,” I say in a friendly way to my husband when he comes home from work. “Doo doo doo doo doo,” I yell when he stands in front of the TV. All the big stars used to do The Muppet Show. Having reviewed many…
One More Time
I’ve been tagged again, this time by the gorgeous and sometimes naughty Valley Girl. Now the theme is “four.” I’ve already done “six” and “seven” tags. This tag is more structured than the others, which makes life easier, but where will it end? A squillion-item tag is probably going around the Internets at this very…
People Will See Me and Cry*
If I get any more famous I am going to ask myself for my autograph. I won’t do it during dinner or in the doctor’s office though, because we famous people hate that shizz. No pictures! No pictures! First, the gorgeous and famous Jennine of The Coveted interviewed me for Independent Fashion Bloggers. I really…
Thursday Book Club: Caroline Mathilde
Ah, the double standard. When kings fool around, all is right in the world. When queens fool around, it’s treason. Why treason? Because if a queen gets pregnant by a man who is not her husband, a child who is not of pure royal blood could wind up on the throne. In effect, that partly…
Six Facts About Me, Requested by Lady N
The gorgeous and outgoing Lady N has tagged me, so I’m going to list six facts about myself. I’m not going to tag anyone else because I fear everyone has been tagged a million times (I think Lady N got to all the untagged people!). But if you haven’t been tagged and feel like doing…
Guess What Happens on November 1?
Pumpkins are taken in back of the barn and shot. Great. Now PETA (Pumpkin Euthanasia is Tragic Always!) is going to be all over my ass. In other news — and I know this is going to hurt you much more than it hurts me, as my high school English teacher used to say —…
Protected: Asshat Alert!
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Recidivism
When I recently confessed to pinching a flower, I didn’t realize I had a long history of floral molestation. However, incriminating photographic evidence has emerged. Assaulting a flower in Oslo, 2007 Harassing a flower in Washington, D.C., in 1992. Don’t tell my parole officer!
Delicious
This Miu Miu shoe is delicious… …and it reminds me of this Bottega Veneta bag, which is also delicious. Pink and red make me think of something else that’s delicious. Excuse me while I go get a snack! While I’m eating, you can read this. Also, here’s a guy who has a sensible response to…