Wendy Brandes Jewelry Blog

Never Is the Next New Thing

Thanks for Thinking of Me, Roxanne

by

I just got a spam email from “Roxanne C. Murdock.” She told me to buy “MegaDik,” and assured me, “You won’t believe your eyes when you see your new penis size!” Upon reflection, I decided Ms. Murdock’s email was a little off-target because I wouldn’t believe my eyes if I noticed I had grown any penis, even a small one. It wouldn’t have to be a mega penis to astonish me.

This is one of the photos that came up when I searched Google Images for MegaDik

I also question whether a size difference would truly increase my “s’e_xual pleasure,” as Roxanne punctuated it (if I may be so bold as to refer to her by her first name). I might be perfectly satisfied with a tiny penis, and I think it would be unwise to rush into a long-term commitment to any organ that’s so large that I would have difficulty fitting it into my Hanky Panky thong. Therefore, with all due respect to Roxanne, I’m not going to buy MegaDik.

(I hope I’m not gushing, but I will always be deeply thankful to Roxanne for the insight into why the “Murdock/h” business empire is enlarging so rapidly and even looking up despite hard times for the economy.)

While I bask in the knowledge that I will soon be getting some very interesting traffic information from Google Analytics, I thought I’d share a cute photo with you. A few weeks ago we had to move some furniture in the bedroom and one of the dog beds was pushed into the closet in the commotion. I generally leave things wherever they fall, so the bed is still in the closet. Now Gigi is in the closet too.

Should I out her? Is that ethical?

You might also like
Hello, Dolly!
A Sally Hansen Manicure and Cat Scratch Fever
Sunday Styles Strikes Again

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Puppies (all dogs) like closets and other enclosed places for safety and comfort – some throwback to caveman times, no doubt. I wouldn’t out her – just think of her as guardian of your shoes: shoe fairy, if you will 🙂

  2. You DO get interesting spam, “MegaDik” sounds much more exciting than my “GrEen Tea ExTRact OrGaNic GrOwTh PeNiS ViagRa” junk.

    Much love.

    DCB.

  3. Okay, I’m really hating my yahoo inbox right now cause I get so much freaking spam every single day, it’s bull! then I get mad again and set up a bulk mail thing, but it gets so gigantic, I hate looking at it. Why are they so bad at filtering, arent we far enough along internet existance to get rid of spam mail??g

  4. Haha its cute how she followed her bed!

    Oh yeah and spam mail seriously disturbs me! and they always ALWAYS advertise penis enlargement supplements. What the hell??

    Is it that popular?

  5. Awww!!! I need to put that pic of your dog up on my blog. I’ll do it next week.

    How are you doing?

  6. I like your pic of MegaDik. Ah, yes, swords. They always come into it somehow lol. It’s not the size, it’s how you use it. The swordsmanship, as it were.

  9. leave the bed. how cute, wants a little privacy.

    yes, i too would have trouble fitting megadik into my panties. that was a funny post.

  11. The dog looks perfectly content. All my clothes and shoes fit into one modest walk-in closet now and I have contemplated sleeping there…

  14. That was funny….I get random-sounding Google analytics searches because of the (fetish-triggering, maybe?) word ‘stilettos’ in my blog header.
    But seriously, I do wonder how they send out spam. I can’t believe there’s an actual person named Roxanne who sits at a screen all day for the express purpose of mailing strangers info about MegaDik (which is just hilarious. Who’d name a product that with a straight face?).

  15. DCB, Eli, Ana, Jessica, Floppy: My fantasy is that I’d somehow have my own spambot which can send out 10,000 spams a second and that I’d be able to spam the spammers with it. Wouldn’t it be gratifying if we were all able to gang up on one of the spam companies and flood them with millions of emails? Atelier, how do you get no spam? GG, LBR, Kira, RCT,Lynn: Probably shoe dog will be evicted but don’t feel sad for her. She spends most of the time under the bed anyway, often making curious digging noises. I’m scared she’s digging a hole and will someday fall through our floor into the apartment below us! Then it will be like the Ransom of Red Chief and we will make them pay us before we take her back. Olga, I’m going to email you!

  16. I hate spam. I’ve been getting Hi Gentleman ones.
    Cute doggie- Haha out her? Nah she looks cute in the closet.

    xoxoxo

  17. I can’t believe those people would flood your inbox with so much crap.

    Seriously, though, where can I obtain some? It’s for a friend.

  18. Thanks for stopping by my blog!
    I think if the puppy is happy in the closet, why not leave her there?

  19. Aww shes cute. My cats, especially the girl likes sleeping in closets too. She only does that with my moms closet though…my closet is a mess, which is the reason she probably doesn’t wander in there, shes scared to go in and not find her way out, lol

  20. I get so much Spam at work that I’ve begged the IT guys to route everyone’s mail through gmail. No such luck. They think google is the devil (I think they’re just jealous).

    Maybe I wouldn’t get so frustrated with SPAM if I had a cute dog like yours!

  22. Oh my goodness, I don’t know what heavenly creature is responsible for your descent into my little life, but good gravy, I think you’re all sorts of perfect.

    I just need a moment to compose myself.

  23. dammit! why dont i get interesting spam like that on a daily basis especially from someone as trusting as Roxanne. i know im going to sound perverted but how does MegaDik actually work?

  25. Got a giggle over your blog today. Those spam things drive me crazy. Sheesh. As for the bed and dog. I HAD to finally put in a bed in my closet for our CAT. she kept opening the closet door… It slides.. and sleeping in my shoes. sigh. So I just made a spot off to the side and put in a little cat bed and WALLA.. Shoes are left alone & I dont yell at her any more. Oh.. we have THREE cats and A dog. Guess it’s a privacy thing. lol

  26. Aw, Cris, that’s so cute. We just have the two dogs and generally Henry takes the living room and Gigi takes the bedroom. Henry won’t go in the bedroom without Gigi’s permission but Gigi goes wherever she wants. She’s a bitchy bitch!

  27. I dont know how they do it but they can sure divide up a house into yours, mine and mine too. 😉 We have no control over it either. lol

  29. Adorable, as always (the dog, not that filthy dick talk!) Miss Stella is also “in the closet” and we’ve quickly exhausted all the outing jokes. Now we just repeat them. Still funny the second or third time!