I’d like to thank the little people — the dwarfs AND the midgets — who helped me on my way to the top. Now that I’ve won this prestigious award, I promise I won’t change a bit except for the fact that I won’t return your calls and I’m only going to hang out with people like Madonna from now on.
My prestigious award
Don’t be bitter. I doubt you’d even appreciate Petrus! Hold on a second, I’ll be right back to you guys.
(aside) “Oh!My!God! Madonna, are you pouring Cristal into the Petrus?! Wait, wait, throw this 10-carat diamond in too and THEN drink it. Ha ha! Madonna Louise Ciccone! You are such a card.”
Okay, I’m back. What was I saying? Oh yeah. I won’t be hanging out with you riff-raff anymore, but at least you can say that you knew me before I was famous — before I was Uber-Menshed by Dressed and Pressed.