Wendy Brandes Jewelry Blog

Never Is the Next New Thing

I’d Like to Thank the Little People

by

I’d like to thank the little people — the dwarfs AND the midgets — who helped me on my way to the top. Now that I’ve won this prestigious award, I promise I won’t change a bit except for the fact that I won’t return your calls and I’m only going to hang out with people like Madonna from now on.

My prestigious award

Don’t be bitter. I doubt you’d even appreciate Petrus! Hold on a second, I’ll be right back to you guys.

(aside) “Oh!My!God! Madonna, are you pouring Cristal into the Petrus?! Wait, wait, throw this 10-carat diamond in too and THEN drink it. Ha ha! Madonna Louise Ciccone! You are such a card.”

Okay, I’m back. What was I saying? Oh yeah. I won’t be hanging out with you riff-raff anymore, but at least you can say that you knew me before I was famous — before I was Uber-Menshed by Dressed and Pressed.

You might also like
The Good Kind of Acne
Throwback Thursday: Another Round of Neon
Courtney Love Is a Gateway Drug

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hah! I love that write up by Dressed and Pressed. You have a wicked sense of humor. Keep bringing it on!

  4. McGone, I’ve already acquired an African child and a red string for my wrist. A fake British accent is next on my list.

  7. Hey, hands off Madonna! That red string wearing, African baby-napper is my bitch!

  8. You should now publish some Madonna candids when you two go out with,specially in the yoga classes with Gwyneth

  9. Well congratulations to you!! If you’re looking for a british accent, I heartily recommend ‘Essex girl’-it does have a lovely common twang!

  11. Hey, you’ve been Gawkered AND Under-menshed and we knew you before that- do we get little buttons now, saying that? 🙂

  15. ah shucks Wendy – Madonna was so last year I know you’re really hanging out with Peaches Geldof – because she is so talented and amazing.

  16. ha, my boyfriend is working on his phd and he teaches undergrads and he said that buying him a bottle of ’61 Petrus was an automatic A. one of his students actually looked up the price!