A recent spam email, offering to teach me “sexspanish,” asked, “Would you like to be her naughty student and learn Cervantes?” Kink-ay! How intellectual! If the spammer had suggested getting naughty while learning Chaucer, I might have gone for it.
insanity
The Prodigal Bumpe Returns
Last year, when I wrote about my 9/11 experience here, I mentioned how — adding minor insult to major injury — Bumpe the cow disappeared from my abandoned office at Lehman Brothers. Bumpe Let’s take a moment to reflect on the type of person who loots a stuffed cow (as well as laptops, loose change…
Thank You, Levi Johnston’s Penis!
Yesterday, this blog got its highest traffic ever thanks to people searching for the kid who sperminated Sarah Palin’s daughter. Levi Johnston, baby daddy Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll knock up some other chick soon. It bet he will because he has the Kevin Federline vibe. He’s totally got the magic hillbilly sperm. All…
Levi Johnston’s Johnson
Levi Johnston is the teenager who knocked up Sarah Palin‘s daughter, Bristol. Levi should have kept his Levis on I hope the 60 seconds of bliss was worth all this hassle. UPDATED TO ADD: US Magazine has the obligatory quotes from his MySpace, including, “I don’t want kids” and “I’m a fuckin’ redneck…” I bet…
Dirty Unsexy Money
I paid for a recent transaction at the post office with a $50 bill. As the cheerful (kidding!) postal worker counted out my change, we both noticed some writing on one of the singles she gave me but neither of us paused to look closely. It was only after I got home that I carefully…
A Conversation With My Sister
WendyB: I really don’t like to hear most people’s opinions.Terri Berry: (silent)WendyB: I just don’t care what they think.Terri Berry: (silent)WendyB: I guess that makes it sound like I don’t like people very much.Terri Berry: You never did! WendyB and Terri Berry in 2007She knows me well!
Career Options
Today’s my lucky day. There is a “quality control technician” job opening at Cadbury. But does “organoleptic testing” mean “eating candy”? Because I could do that. Here’s the description: Provide laboratory technical support for all product preparation and production areas, with respect to the physical, chemical, and organoleptic testing of raw, packaging, and finished product….
This Look Should Be Saved for the Beach
Marc Jacobs-designed clothes are better than Marc Jacobs without clothes. Please get dressed, Marc Jacobs. This isn’t the first time Marc has aggravated me and I’m sure it won’t be the last, considering he’s planning to get a tattoo that says, “Shameless.”
Knockoffs
My new hero, the hilarious mofo Katt Williams, has a few things to say about knockoffs. He’s talking about cars, but his points can be applied to fashion knockoffs too. Not long ago, gorgeous blogger Oh Lady E pointed out Nine West’s Chloe knockoff, while Always in Style came up with a Prada flower feet…
Banning the Trite
The term “effortlessly chic” has been overused to such an extent that it has surpassed “aging gracefully” in its ability to irritate me. Not only is it a fashion cliche, it’s inaccurate as well. Being effortlessly chic and/or gracefully aged requires effort AND good genes. You all are now banned from using “effortlessly chic” or…