Last year, after winning both my categories (Blog With the Most Swears and Blog With the Most Pictures of the Blogger) in the “prestigious” Drysdale Awards thanks to an exhausting and exhaustive campaign, I had a Shermanesque attitude about potential future Drysdales. “I will not accept if nominated and will not serve if elected,” I…
swearing
L’Chaim
Life Magazine, the photojournalism magazine, was launched as a weekly publication by Time Magazine owner Henry Luce in 1936. When I worked at People Magazine, which was started many decades later by the same corporate parent, I was based in the Time-Life building. The weekly version of Life was shut down in 1972, but the…
New York Fashion Week Frocks
It’s always fun to dress up for New York Fashion Week. In addition to the two tartan dresses I wore on Friday, I’ve worn dresses I’ll describe as new-old, old-old and new-new. For Fashion’s Night Out, I went with new-old. This Ossie Clark dress was made more than 30 years ago. I won it on…
How to Get Out of Jury Duty
I must thank gorgeous blogger The Perfect Ratio for finding and sharing this wonderful juror qualification questionnaire. “I want a donut now, you fuck!!” is going to be my new personal motto. Click to enlarge I’ve been called for jury duty more than anyone else I know. This irritates me because I’ve done my time….
Word of the Day*
Dysphemism (noun): the substitution of a disagreeable, offensive, or disparaging expression for an agreeable or inoffensive one. The antonym of “euphemism.” Example: “Have a good day, bitches!” *Brought to you by Wendy Brandes, dysphemistic since (approximately) 1977.
Better to Have Loved and Lost
Why didn’t you bitches tell me that my 60-year-old, African-American identical twin was on Jimmy Kimmel Live? I would have skipped a Law & Order rerun or ten to check out security guard Veatrice Rice, whom I discovered only after she died of cancer. Someday, I hope to be remembered as Jimmy remembers Veatrice while…
It Was an Honor Just to Be Nominated…
… but it’s even better to win both my categories in the “prestigious” Drysdale Awards for blogging! First, I’d like to thank the little people. So, thank you, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman! Danny and Rhea Also, thanks to all the blogging and non-blogging bitches who voted for me, albeit under duress. I will treasure…
Hey, Hey Charla
I’d like to dedicate this craptacular photo of myself — inching into my 41st year in a too-short skirt and red lipstick — to my pink-lipglossed nemesis, How Not to Look Old author Charla Krupp. I’m wearing a vintage Christian Francis Roth jacket for my 41st birthday, which is today.Yeah, I’m old, sluts!Deal with it….
Eyes on the Prizes, Part II
If this doesn’t prove to you beyond a reasonable doubt that I am the only person deserving of the Drysdale Award for Blog With the Most Swears, you are fucked up. Behold! My masterpiece: Swear rings by Wendy Brandes That’s right, bitches! I swear in metal. Vote here. UPDATED TO ADD: I didn’t mean to…
Eyes on the Prizes
My peeps, take a moment to visit Grant Miller Media and vote for me in the Drysdale Awards. What are the Drysdale Awards, you ask? Well, they’re like the Oscars for bloggers, meaning that the winners will accept their awards while wearing sweatpants and t-shirts with week-old tomato-sauce stains on them rather than gowns and…