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Vote, Damn You!

November 30, 2009 by WendyB

Last year, after winning both my categories (Blog With the Most Swears and Blog With the Most Pictures of the Blogger) in the “prestigious” Drysdale Awards thanks to an exhausting and exhaustive campaign, I had a Shermanesque attitude about potential future Drysdales. “I will not accept if nominated and will not serve if elected,” I said nobly to Gigi the dog, briefly distracting her from her job of making annoying mouth noises under the bed. “Let someone else win for a change.”

Well, Drysdale time is here again, and now my attitude is fuck that self-denial shit!

The coveted Drysdale award.

The coveted Drysdale award.

This year, I have been nominated in three categories: Blog With the Most Swearing, Blog That is Clearly Contracted to Endorse a Product or Service, and Blogger of the Year. And I better win them, or I will beat a bitch’s ass. Furthermore, I have the endorsement of gorgeous blogger and self-proclaimed cunt Sister Wolf. She will no doubt introduce you to a world of pain if you let me down.

I approve of Sister Wolf's necklace even though I did not design it.

I approve of Sister Wolf's necklace even though I did not design it.

If the threat of violence isn’t enough to convince you, here are other persuasive arguments:

  1. You should vote for me for the swearing award because even my fingers curse you.
  2. You should vote for me for the product-endorsement award because my “About Me” paragraph begins, “I started this blog to promote my Wendy Brandes jewelry line…”
  3. You should vote for me for blogger of the year because I’m going to pay you lots of money for that. As a matter of fact, the check is in the mail! As soon as you vote, you can go stand by your mailbox and wait for payment.
My fingers curse you!

My fingers curse you!

You can vote until December 14, but it would probably be best to vote early and give me a giant lead so that I don’t have to write more campaign posts like this one.  To paraphrase Arlo Guthrie in Alice’s Restaurant, I can do 25 more posts like this. I’m not proud … or tired.

Arlo Guthrie would want you to vote for me.

Arlo Guthrie would want you to vote for me.

You know what you have to do. Click the handsome face of Drysdale inventor Grant Miller and do it.

I'm Grant Miller. Click me to vote.

I'm Grant Miller. Click me to vote.

VOTE, BITCHES!

You are also encouraged to vote for people who are not me in the other highlarious categories, which include:

  • Dullest Blog
  • Blog With the Most Spam Comments
  • Least Influential Political Blog
  • Blog With the Most Posts About Jon or Kate Gosselin
  • Blogger That Spreads the Most Rumors About Other Bloggers

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Filed Under: blogs and bloggers, contests, swear rings, swearing Tagged With: drysdale award

Previous Post: « The Most Interesting Woman in the World
Next Post: Outfit Post, Almost Starring Jude and Sienna »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. KT says

    November 30, 2009 at 8:19 pm

    I voted. I fucking swear I did.

  2. Kristin says

    November 30, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    I will vote. I swear by my lily white ass!

  3. enc says

    November 30, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    Stop telling me what to do, dammit!

  4. K-Line says

    November 30, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    Jesus Christ – you are scary! I will vote. Now.

  5. calamityjem says

    November 30, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    Consider it done 😉

  6. Alicia says

    November 30, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    I voted like a good, loyal fangirl.

    WHERE IS MY MONEY!?!?

  7. La:Dolce:Vita says

    November 30, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    I love that ring!!! I think I may have said that already in a previous post.

  8. Sister Wolf says

    November 30, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    I certainly do endorse you Wendy, and I fucking love my Cunt necklace from Queen Marie!

  9. jayne says

    November 30, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    fuck yea, I voted!

  10. thebeautyfile says

    November 30, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    I Voted! And you should know, as of now, you are totally wiping the floor with those other bloggers…

  11. Prêt-à-Porter P says

    November 30, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    done, done, and done. 🙂

  12. lipstickatthemailbox says

    December 1, 2009 at 12:41 am

    I am waiting at the mailbox for my check.

  13. Vegetable Assassin says

    December 1, 2009 at 1:28 am

    Roll up your sleeves, miss B. and meet me outside. Ha!

    Shit wait, you’re supposed to vote now? SOMEONE COULD HAVE TOLD ME. I need to get my minions on it to KICK YOUR BITCH ASS. 🙂 (ha, that’s likely, NOT)

  14. Ms. Smart says

    December 1, 2009 at 1:33 am

    F#@&<?ing Voted mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  15. sharon rose says

    December 1, 2009 at 3:23 am

    You are truly the best my dear and really deserve to win each and every category, I’m off to vote!!

  16. Make Do Style says

    December 1, 2009 at 3:29 am

    *%!$ off the scale – once you voted though you can’t do it again. I know because I tried!

  17. Jules says

    December 1, 2009 at 6:10 am

    I do like fucking blogs that allow some shit talk.

  18. Hannah says

    December 1, 2009 at 6:11 am

    Voted, voted and voted! You’re doing well Wendy! I’ll go wait for my check now.

  19. Jen says

    December 1, 2009 at 7:38 am

    Ohh i really want the swear rings, so cool wendy.
    I need to treat myself soon to something of yours.
    wow that grafitti swimsuit is cool definitely looks similar to the zimmermann one. You should have bought it, you would have rocked it! The zimmermann one is a bit less fussy though, maybe easier to pull off?

  20. Couture Carrie says

    December 1, 2009 at 7:57 am

    Congrats on your nominations, darling WB!
    Hope you clean up!

    xoxox,
    CC

  21. Sher says

    December 1, 2009 at 9:04 am

    I DID DAMN IT!

  22. Sally says

    December 1, 2009 at 9:54 am

    Victory is inevitable! You are WAY in the lead in all categories. Well, all the ones you’re nominated in … I didn’t see a write-in option anywhere. I’ll talk to Grant.

  23. pretty face says

    December 1, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Definitely the most *interesting* award ceremony. I love that you can come from some full-length dress event straight to the Drysdales, which seems to me to be the type of event where you’d wear the shortest, most PVC dress you owned.

    Anyway that’s just my imagination at work. I’m voting for you baby.

  24. Jill says

    December 1, 2009 at 10:41 am

    I want a cunt necklace…but can it say cootchie? I’m delicate, you know! Who is this Queen Marie?! Voted yesterday, chica.

  25. Rowena says

    December 1, 2009 at 10:54 am

    I felt somehow compelled to vote…

  26. La Belette Rouge says

    December 1, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    Get your acceptance speeches ready!

  27. savvy gal says

    December 1, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Will sure vote for you. : )

  28. Eric says

    December 1, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    You have my vote, and you didn’t even pay me. I mean what is this, Chicago?

  29. Miss Janey says

    December 1, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Miss J observes that currently Wendy B is winning in her categories. Comprende?

  30. lisa says

    December 1, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    Voted! I would wish you good luck, but you don’t need it as you clearly deserve to win. 🙂

  31. Audi says

    December 1, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    I just finished voting — you’re fucking welcome! If I’d have known there was a category for Blogger That Spreads the Most Rumors About Other Bloggers, I’d have been concocting juicy gossip about you all year!

  32. Tanya says

    December 1, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    I voted! Just now!

    Love Sister Wolf’s necklace (even though it’s not yours).

  33. cdp says

    December 1, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    I second Alicia. I mean, I fucking voted for you but my vote’s a fucking valuable thing, I can’t just fucking give it away, know what I mean? (I know I’m a year late, but I still think Blagoevich jokes are funny).

  34. Jennifer says

    December 1, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Well done my friend. I think you’re going to do well.

  35. drollgirl says

    December 1, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    how am i not nominated as a blog with most swear words?!? THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!

    🙂

  36. Mish dish says

    December 1, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Done deal…I voted 🙂

  37. hanako66 says

    December 1, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    voted!

  38. Winnie says

    December 1, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    Hahaha!

    Wow imagine winning ‘dullest blog’ Clearly that will never happen to you Wendy!

  39. KT says

    December 1, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    There once was a designer named Wendy
    Her jewely was really the shit
    Now cast your votes
    All you bitches and ho’s
    Before she beats your mother fucking ass.

    *I had a hard time wrapping this up with enough swears to go with Wendy but I wanted you to know I’m on your side. Don’t knife me!

  40. BeckEye says

    December 2, 2009 at 12:57 am

    What do you get for the woman who has it all? NOTHING. How dare you steal votes from the wretched refuse (like me) of the Blogosphere.

  41. Danielle says

    December 2, 2009 at 9:10 am

    I voted for you, cuz, well, your the best!!!!!! Much luck 🙂

  42. Everybody Says Don't says

    December 2, 2009 at 9:18 am

    Done! Voted you F******ing ****

  43. Couture Cookie says

    December 2, 2009 at 9:21 am

    I will absolutely vote…! And I might also stalk you with my camera one day, if you’re (un)lucky and if you’re wearing something that is crazy enough!

  44. Amelia M says

    December 2, 2009 at 9:36 am

    There’s a dullest blog category? Whoa! I think you got nominated for the best categories of them all, thankfully!

  45. kendal croix says

    December 2, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    gawd damn i love those FUCKing rings.

  46. Marian says

    December 6, 2009 at 7:41 am

    Darling congrats on being nominated! that necklace is hiliarious! Love your minxed nails.
    xx
    marian

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MEET WENDY BRANDES

Award-winning designer of fine jewelry inspired by women's history and pop culture. A former journalist who writes about jewelry, fashion, medieval history, news, feminism, dogs, cats and whatever else is on her mind. Blogging since 2007.
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