A confession: The title of this post is misleading, because I am not interested in what most people consider “best dressed” at a celebrity-heavy event such as last night’s Golden Globes. Years ago, I decided the world needed a Best Dressed/Wear What You Want combo award, which I bestow upon an attendee who dares to be different. This award comes with no statuette, certificate, cash prize, career bump, or gift bag. But it might be the first sign that a celebrity who leads every other fashion critic’s worst-dressed list will be vindicated in, say, four years by being the recognizable early adopter of a major red-carpet trend (Rihanna); or in 20 years, by being recognized as a queen of couture (Céline Dion); or in 18 years by seeing her reviled Oscar dress on display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art (Bjork).
My Best Dressed/Wear What You Want award goes hand-in-hand with my “Never Is the Next New Thing™” fashion philosophy. “Never Is the Next New Thing™” arose from my observation that the most provocative/grating/startling looks — the ones that make you say, “I would NEVER wear that!” — are the ones most likely to become trends. There is no “worst dressed” in my world; there is only “too early.” But “Best Dressed/Wear What You Want Award” doesn’t fit in blog post titles, so here we are with my regular disclaimer/clarification. Now, on to my 2020 Golden Globes winners!
My first runner-up is Billy Porter of Pose, a two-time winner of my top prize in 2019. His custom Alex Vinash tux with a feathered train was worn with custom Jimmy Choo boots and a bag by Emm Kuo NY.
I’m not at all bitter that Billy was wearing $2 million of Tiffany jewelry instead of $50,000 of Wendy Brandes Jewelry, because Tiffany and its corporate owner, LVMH, need the exposure more than I do. I kid, I kid. I’m extremely bitter! Especially because I think Billy would look wonderful in my Queen of Scots snake tiara.
Someone please tell me that Tiffany/LVMH gave Billy a big check to wear that jewelry because (a) he deserves to secure the bag and (b) it would cheer me up next time someone says to me, “Why don’t you JUST get your jewelry on the red carpet” like it’s so damn easy to do.
Anyway, as fabulous as Billy looked, I’ve come to expect this kind of statement piece from him, and shock value goes a long way towards snagging that coveted Best Dressed/Wear What You Want honor. I want eye-catching, not “pretty.” I want to say, “What the fuck is that?” and then ten minutes later say, “I still don’t know what the fuck that is, but I love it.” Those requirements make Jodie Comer of Killing Eve in Mary Katrantzou my winner. I really did think, “What the fuck?!” ..
… before getting distracted by her feathered Jimmy Choo clutch.
I too have a feathered clutch! Clearly, Jodie and I are soulmates.
By the time I tweeted happily about the purse and got back to the tent-like dress, I realized my surprise meant I had a winner. We’ve been seeing voluminous dresses for quite a while now, but they’ve all been accompanied by a heavy dose of ruffles. Those dresses have been saying, “I’m taking up a lot of space, but sweetly.” Jodie’s ruffles are confined to her puffed sleeves; everything else is sleek, yet massive. The more I look at it, the more I like it. Well-done, Jodie!
Speaking of sleeves, they were literally the big look of the night. There were big sleeves on Cate Blanchett, also in Mary Katrantzou …
… Olivia Colman in Emilia Wickstead…
I feel vindicated myself after enduring more than a decade of teasing about my love of statement sleeves. As the saying goes, “A broken clock is right twice a day” and my broken-clock moment has arrived!
A Best Dressed/Wear What You Want honorable mention goes to Jennifer Lopez in a Valentino gown with a ginormous boob bow.
Don’t come at me with your too-easy jokes about gift wrapping or even your funny Carol Burnett memes!
As my OG readers know, this is officially a safe space for ALL boob and butt bows. Shout-out to OG blogger Tony Cooler, by the way, for noting that J.Lo’s dress has a bit of the traditional Korean hanbok about it. That again brings me back to 2008, when I went to bat for Sandra Oh’s boob bow on a hanbok-style gown.
I’m so committed to bows of both the boob- and butt-covering varieties that I’m even going to give a shout-out to Scarlett Johansson for the butt bow on her Vera Wang gown …
… even though every time she does an interview, I think, “Never do interviews.” Just. Don’t. Speak. Of course, there are other show-biz types whose thoughts I like to hear, and I’ll write about them in my next post.
UPDATED TO ADD: How could I forget to give a shout-out to Joey King wearing the always compelling Iris van Herpen? Mea culpa.
And Kerry Washington going for a twist on the naked look in Altuzarra.
When I saw Kerry on the red carpet fairly early in the arrivals, I thought she might be my top pick for finding a fresh way to flaunt bare skin. But then I met her competition. Sorry, Kerry!