My peeps, you must make buttons and bumper stickers and signs and get the vote out for me for Best Fashion Blog. Why am I the best? Because I represent hope! Just look at my motto: “Wear What You Want.” It’s positive, not negative. I wrote about the meaning of my motto last January:
I added “Wear What You Want” to the header because I am irritated by self-appointed “Fashion Police” who persecute anyone who shows a little creativity. Obviously, “Wear What You Want” doesn’t apply to every situation. You shouldn’t wear a boob belt dress to a funeral. Nor should you wear a skin-tight, backless white halter dress to your first day of work as an intern at CNN. I didn’t do that! Someone else did. I’m still traumatized ten years later. “Wear What You Want” applies to your “you” time: casual time, fun time, party time, private time.
It’s easy to sit at home and complain about the world’s fashion choices: This one is too crazy, this one is too dull, this one wears too much makeup, this one should wear some lipstick. Please! You can find something wrong with everyone if you try hard enough. Okay, once in a while I can’t resist teasing someone about her armgina, but that’s an awesome word that needs to be used whenever possible and the opportunities don’t come around too often. What matters more is that I am willing to wear a sausage-casing-tight leopard dress and stride right onto the Disaster Area page myself. I ain’t scared!
So, I’m open-minded about fashion (don’t I always encourage the wardrobe experiments of you other fashion bloggers?). I already listed many of my other fine qualities in my first campaign speech. Now, a scientific survey of one person (thanks, ENC) proves that I have meaningful experience in the following important fashion-blogging areas:
- Giving the finger
- Calling out idiots
- Finding superb vintage buys
- Debunking stupid notions
- Bringing bloggers together for blind dates
- Showing my rack
- Kicking ass at Scrabble (you’ll just have to believe ENC).
And most important of all, I have fish feet.