My gorgeous mother, BarbaraB, took me to see Patti Lupone in the musical Gypsy this week. I’d seen the play last March, but after a ceiling vent fell on an audience member, I couldn’t really focus on Patti’s big finale. I wanted to experience an accident-free performance before the play closes on January 11. I…
Arts & Entertainment
Having a Wank
I took guitar lessons for eight years. I didn’t become proficient because I never practiced. I would get out my candy-apple red Fender Strat exactly once a week when I trudged the ten blocks to see Ed, my good-natured guitar teacher. I kept this up until I left the corporate world and started working for…
Going Back to Cali
This is what I wore when I went out with the gorgeous bloggers of L.A. last month: head-to-ankle black. Kate Moss for Topshop fringed jacket. My only Topshop acquisition ever. Only my Hogan shoes broke up the black. I found these shoes marked way down but almost didn’t get them. Luckily, MrB insisted because I’ve…
It’s All About Me
Two wise women have followed my command to kneel before Wendy Brandes and have respectfully offered their written tributes. Gorgeous blogger Sheila of Ephemera has recognized my triumphs in the Drysdale Award categories for big ego and bad language, naming me The Most Foul-Mouthed Self-Promoting Funny Woman Ever. Kathy “Knock the Dicks Out of Your…
I’m Only Anti-Work
Reading gorgeous blogger Miss Karen’s I’m Not Anti-Social, Just Short-Sighted blog has caused the Officer Krupke song from West Side Story to become permanently lodged in my head. I sing it to myself every time I read her blog. A clip from the movie version of West Side StoryMiss Karen’s line comes at 4:35 Damn…
Say My Name, Say My Name
When I was a kid, “personalized” shizz was really popular. Personalized keychains, personalized bookmarks, personalized license plates for your bike, personalized shoelaces for your sneakers. It wasn’t personally personalized just for you, of course. You bought the stuff ready-made in the drugstore or Caldor or another place like that. I was always very hurt when…
Hotness
When I had a fever the other night, I was inspired to search for a video of the late, great Peggy Lee singing Fever. I love her facial expressions and overall ‘tude.
Happy Holiday, Goyim!
Every December 25, I get into the holiday spirit by reminiscing about an idiot I knew in my freshman year of college. This self-described born-again Christian once went into a rant about the secularization of Christmas as symbolized by the use of “Xmas.” She thought that evil secular people had X’d the “Christ” out of…
Hey, Hey Charla
I’d like to dedicate this craptacular photo of myself — inching into my 41st year in a too-short skirt and red lipstick — to my pink-lipglossed nemesis, How Not to Look Old author Charla Krupp. I’m wearing a vintage Christian Francis Roth jacket for my 41st birthday, which is today.Yeah, I’m old, sluts!Deal with it….
Booked and Tagged
Quite some time ago, Sharon Rose told me I must “open the nearest book to page 46, write out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences.” I like the vagueness of the “two to five” thing. It’s like the originator of the tag was into it at first…