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Coco Chanel Was Wrong; Broken English Is Right

September 17, 2009 by WendyB

Coco Chanel supposedly said, “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.” I’ve always wondered if she really said this. After all, she promoted wearing gobs of costume-jewelry chains. That doesn’t seem very minimalist to me. Anyway, whether or not she said it, people love to quote these alleged words of wisdom. I am here to tell you that the whole concept is wrong. Dead wrong. That was driven home to me yesterday when gorgeous blogger Prunella Jones alerted me to the fact that the Ossie Clark dress in my last post would have benefited from additional accessorizing. Judging from Prunella’s illustration, I was indeed a fool to leave the house without a magical owl, crazy sunglasses, sparkles and a handgun.

Illustration by Prunella

Illustration by Prunella

My one-of-a-kind Francis dress also needed some help. As Prunella pointed out, “Tattoos, bling and a hook hand really take this elegant dress to the next level! Too bad that bitchy little squirrel is trying to upstage you.”

Illustration by Prunella.

Damn varmint.

Please, people, learn from my mistakes and avoid embarrassing under-accessorizing. If you happen to live in Los Angeles or Santa Monica or some nearby California locale, you’re in luck. All you have to do is visit the fabulous jewelry store called Broken English and gorgeous owner Laura will hook you up. Laura, unfortunately, has no handguns or magical owls for sale, but she makes up for that with plenty of Wendy Brandes jewelry. It just arrived there this week, so it’s nice and fresh. (You can also buy online.) Remember to buy a lot! Do it for Prunella.

UPDATED TO ADD: My one-of-a-kind, magical owl necklace is right here.

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Filed Under: blogs and bloggers, Broken English, pictures of me, stores Tagged With: Broken English

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. hanako66 says

    September 18, 2009 at 11:57 am

    ahahahahahah

    this is so funny, thank you I needed that today!

  2. GoodLookingCorgi says

    September 18, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    You can’t use Blingee without making gifs of you smoking a joint in front of glitzy background that put those laser backgrounds in school photos to shame. It’s against the law, ma’am.

  3. The Clothes Horse says

    September 18, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    These are amazing. You’ve outdone yourself!

  4. Jillian says

    September 18, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    haha omg i love it you have a really great sense of style it is all your own, truly!

  5. ash fox says

    September 19, 2009 at 10:01 am

    love broken english! congrats on a new store!

    x

    http://www.tittees.blogspot.com

  6. karen says

    September 20, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Great blingees! Tried the Broken English site, but it is inoperative!

  7. Laura says

    September 20, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    I love it… xx Laura

  8. Prêt-à-Porter P says

    September 21, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Brandon says

    September 24, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    There’s a movie about Coco called “Coco Before Chanel” that comes out tomorrow. I posted the trailer at PinkyShears.com Enjoy!

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MEET WENDY BRANDES

Award-winning designer of fine jewelry inspired by women's history and pop culture. A former journalist who writes about jewelry, fashion, medieval history, news, feminism, dogs, cats and whatever else is on her mind. Blogging since 2007.
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