Coco Chanel supposedly said, “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.” I’ve always wondered if she really said this. After all, she promoted wearing gobs of costume-jewelry chains. That doesn’t seem very minimalist to me. Anyway, whether or not she said it, people love to quote these alleged words of wisdom. I am here to tell you that the whole concept is wrong. Dead wrong. That was driven home to me yesterday when gorgeous blogger Prunella Jones alerted me to the fact that the Ossie Clark dress in my last post would have benefited from additional accessorizing. Judging from Prunella’s illustration, I was indeed a fool to leave the house without a magical owl, crazy sunglasses, sparkles and a handgun.
My one-of-a-kind Francis dress also needed some help. As Prunella pointed out, “Tattoos, bling and a hook hand really take this elegant dress to the next level! Too bad that bitchy little squirrel is trying to upstage you.”
Please, people, learn from my mistakes and avoid embarrassing under-accessorizing. If you happen to live in Los Angeles or Santa Monica or some nearby California locale, you’re in luck. All you have to do is visit the fabulous jewelry store called Broken English and gorgeous owner Laura will hook you up. Laura, unfortunately, has no handguns or magical owls for sale, but she makes up for that with plenty of Wendy Brandes jewelry. It just arrived there this week, so it’s nice and fresh. (You can also buy online.) Remember to buy a lot! Do it for Prunella.
UPDATED TO ADD: My one-of-a-kind, magical owl necklace is right here.
everyone loves sparkles
ps. this is hilarious!
I. Grace says
There are no words from me, only laugher!!! =)
Ms. Smart says
I bet you felt like that on the inside. 🙂
Imogen Lamport says
Coco only meant it for those women who are so heavily encrusted they can’t stand up. Most people under-accessorize in my view
And L.A. stockist? Of WendyB?
Sharon Rose says
I would certainly over accessorise on WendyB jewellery if funds allowed, sigh!!
oh. my. god. Brilliant, just brilliant.
Lenya Jones says
Only you could pull this off.
Couture Cookie says
And I, who thought your outfits were flawless to begin with… amazing what an accessory squirrel can do! 😀
A great before and after story with a sparkling ending.
miss sophie says
love it! the flashing OC dress looks fab!
tor (fabfrocks) says
Your very special kind of humour always brightens up my day!!
Ashe Mischief says
Best post in the history of fashion blogging.
Melanie Garvie says
Not bad … not bad at all …
Just wondering if the sparkly sparkles are battery powered or not. 😉
The Maiden Metallurgist says
Wendy B what were you thinking leaving the house without your hook hand?
prunella jones says
Lookin’ good, babe!
Not many chicks can pull of both a magical owl and a machine gun bracelet at the same time, but everything works on you.
I thought I was laughing when I reacted to your bee-flower romance comment on my blog.
But I was only pretending.
I really was laughing as I scrolled down and saw your Prunella-ed-self. Real laughter means your sides are splittin’ and your nose is runnin’ and your eyes are waterin’–right?
this is a riot Wendy!!
I got the skirt I love it, but its really big?? I am just going to have it taken in by my tailor. Its gorgeous though!!!
WOW! How ultra-cool! I love this edited version of you.
(I know it’s no accident that my captcha is “bejewel.”)
I’ve heard that quote attributed to Coco Chanel, Audrey Hepburn, Babe Paley, and who knows who else. Babe Paley could have used a tattoo and a parrot. And maybe a big Flava Flav clock.
deja pseu says
Fabulous! There are few ensembles that are not improved by a pirate hat.
fashion herald says
Bitchy squirrels, indeed! They’re such attention whores, just ask my cats.
I want a magical owl!
Now I desperately want a hook hand!
Couture Carrie says
This post is hysterical, darling!
Looooove the new profile pic, btw!
Hilarious! And you can never over-accessorize. And I kind of need that owl in my life, too.
The anti-spam word seems quite appropriate for this post “madqueen”! This is hilarious! I, honestly, have always agreed with removing one accessory, or at least just wearing only two things (no bracelet/earring/necklace or pin combos for me). Of course, after looking at these pictures, I’m feeling extremely boring!
So the magical owl is finally making a fashion comeback? Go Athena! Although, I guess the spear and gorgon-faced shield are so 2300 years ago…
Vegetable Assassin says
Honey, it’s not completely couture without the owl.
Oh my god, dying with laughter.
Make Do Style says
Hilarious and brilliant!
pretty face says
LOL! Prunella is certainly talented…
I’m so fickle with jewelry I really should invert the rule and add one MORE piece of jewelry before I go out! Builds character as they say!
Miss Janey says
Miss J’s agent in Japan used to always remind Miss J: “Doing something SEQUINS!” Miss J thinks the sparkly light-up dress takes this to an even better place.
You are so fun!!!
I think that accessories are essencial, but only the cool ones like yours!
I know people that wear too much, with a wrong mix of styles and bad taste + cheap pieces…I hate that…
Those people must read your blog!
Many kisses my VIP friend!
the squirrel really is a nice touch haha
and you could never be wearing too much Wendy jewelry, only too little (that being said I still need to earn money before I treat myself to one of your fantastic pieces!)
This is just hilarious. The top one is strangely Harry Potter to me.
Iron Chic says
Maybe Coco meant underwear….
Thumbelina Fashionista says
I’m glad I was home when I read this because I just burst into uncontrollable laughter!! You are freakin’ hilarious!!
P.S. I need your computer skills. DESPERATELY.
My comment dissapeared, bottom line you are funny! 🙂
Miss Peelpants says
Genius! I’m sure Ossie would have approved too…
Mother trucker. You make me laugh.
this is incredibly funny.. damn that little squirrel
Thank you for justifying my fave hair accessories! Most people would say gift bows and cat ears (not at once) are too much, but they are positively minimalist compared to pirate hats and hooks!
LUVVV the added glitz,
Las Vegas doesn’t have anything like that!
OMG Wendy you are too cute, I didnt see you at the IFB event! =( Great dresses
savvy gal says
LOL… You are all blinged out. Savvy!
Sharon Rose says
Hi there!! Just to let you know there is an award to collect from me!! have a great weekend!!
Bwhahahhahahaha! One can never go wrong with hooks for hands. Or a handgun. I’m going to start putting my 38 special in the waistband of my pants and of course, put glitter on it. And maybe some Hello Kitty stickers!