Are you a reporter who needs to write a fashion story? Here’s a helpful outline!
By I.M. Tedious
- Find woman in department store. Be sure to make her sound humorless.
- Explain how said woman can’t find anything office-appropriate in the store.
- Explain how the coming season is even less office-appropriate.
- Quote from dismayed retail executive.
- Quote from upbeat retail executive.
- Info about exchange rate and prices.
- Quote from LVMH executive about how this doesn’t affect LVMH one bit.
- Comments about whether any clothing in the world is appropriate for women of a certain age/weight/profession.
- Closing quote from woman in step #1 about how she’s just going to wear last season’s clothes instead of buying something new.
There’s no waist!
People so often cry wolf about fashion that when their dire predictions come true at last, no one flinches. A few years ago, I desperately needed a new suit for work only to be told at several big stores, “There are no suits this year.” To me, “There are no suits this year” is a more interesting take on the industry than “There are too many ruffles this year.” Designers can show ruffles with Viking hats for all I care. But, literally, no suits at all?!? Or office-appropriate separates? That season’s fashion story had been no different from the ones I read in the suit-selling seasons; how was I to know that this time they meant it?