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Hot Tip for World Leaders

January 4, 2008 by WendyB

People have been hunting for Osama Bin Laden for years, but he is nowhere to be found. This can only mean one thing. He’s in the same “safe place” where I put months of bank statements, two inexpensive necklaces and my thigh-high black suede boots. All we need to do is find that place and we’ll have him.

I just know that jackhole is wearing my necklaces and boots and chortling over my financial situation whenever he’s not making obnoxious videos or snacking on delicious food items he finds in his beard.

I think I need new boots, but do I want boots that need Botox?

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Filed Under: boots, insanity

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Wendy says

    January 4, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    Often my safe place reveals itself after I’ve replaced the item. 😉

    So, I think you definitely need new boots!!

  2. WendyB says

    January 4, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    So, Other Wendy, you’re saying if I get new boots I can save the world!
    Well, if that’s not a reason to go shopping, I don’t know what is!

  3. Miss Janey says

    January 4, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    He probably has Miss Janey’s girlish figure with him,too. It disappeared about the time he went into hiding.

  4. In Yr Fshn says

    January 4, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    Those boots look like those dogs with the squishy wrinkled faces.

  5. WendyB says

    January 4, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    Woot! Shar-Pei boots. It would be good to wear them if your feet hurt, because then you could say, “My dogs are really barking” and it would be so amusing. Or not.

  6. Olga says

    January 4, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    Oh, no! This is hilarious!!!

    He must be wearing Scary Fish Shaped Shoes there (over the boots, of course), because that must be the only place where they’re sold!

    I also wonder what he is doing there with my iPAQ’s old stylus.

  7. WendyB says

    January 4, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    My fish shoe problem explained at last!

  8. Olga says

    January 4, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    Oh, no! I’d thought your quest would go on forever.

    But you can happily switch to the new quest…..

  9. WendyB says

    January 4, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    Don’t worry, Olga, I will never give up on fish shoes.

  10. Laughing through my chardonnay says

    January 4, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Your boots and necklaces are probably hiding inthwe same place as my self respect and pride. If you find them, will you please let me know?

  11. Suze says

    January 4, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Well as long as he’s not wearing the gold latex. Also when you find him, please tell him to return my missing earring. It’s the loopy looking one – he’ll know.

  12. Katelin says

    January 4, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    Hahaha I laughed at this whole post.

  13. Olga says

    January 4, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    hmm, this is a great treatment for a fantasy novel. let’s co-author it, Wendy. (We could use the title “the place where Scary Fish Shaped Shoe warriors go”.)

    I’m serious about the novel!!!

  14. WendyB says

    January 4, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    Don’t worry, Chard…I’m sure my dignity is keeping them company. Wait…I never had any. Never mind!

  15. Practically Perfect In Every Way says

    January 4, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    that guy is such a bastard. he has one of each of my daughters matching hair bows, 6 dozen mismated socks, my true life’s ambition, and my maid. he deserves to be tortured prior to death.

  16. Stephanie says

    January 4, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    In answer to your question, the other things were weed, a lighter, and a bowl. I can’t put that on my blog though, especially now that my parents are reading it. So yeah, $32 down the drain…haha.

  17. WendyB says

    January 4, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Ha ha! I figured as much, you bad girl. You know, your parents might figure as much too. Be careful!

  18. Heather says

    January 4, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    haha! I bet Osama is looking good, at least.

    Was that blasphemous?

  19. PinkPiddyPaws says

    January 4, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    Ooooo…those look just LIKE the boots I wore to my company Christmas party!!!!

    I briefly considered stabbing my Sales Manager Bitch from Hell in the eye with my stiletto but then I thought “No.. blood is such a pain to get out of suede” hee..hee…

  20. La Belette Rouge says

    January 4, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Better boots have wrinkles than foreheads.

  21. This Lady says

    January 5, 2008 at 6:55 am

    You dont have to need a boot to buy it! you can buy it just because u want it!

  22. Bobble Bee says

    January 5, 2008 at 7:35 am

    LOL @ “boots that need botox” ! 😀
    you are the wittiest wendy!

  23. Blue Floppy Hat says

    January 5, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    *chortles at the idea of Osama bin Laden doing his best Christmas tree impression with Wendy’s necklaces and sexy boots*…d’you think he’ll totter?

  24. Shoeaddict says

    January 5, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    probably that bitch has all our damn forks (I know!), and my freaking towels…

  25. Linda says

    January 5, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    haha your humor is unparalleled, and as if I really need to say this, but YES to those boots.

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Award-winning designer of fine jewelry inspired by women's history and pop culture. A former journalist who writes about jewelry, fashion, medieval history, news, feminism, dogs, cats and whatever else is on her mind. Blogging since 2007.
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