1. Actor Sam Waterston‘s eyebrows. I think the long-time Law & Order cast member deserves three Emmys: one for him and one for each eyebrow. I always feel like the brows are acting out little plots of their own. No other eyebrows are so special. Admittedly, some people would vote for Martin Scorsese‘s. While I’m a huge fan of Goodfellas, his eyebrows don’t do it for me. Sorry, Marty.
2. Mothra. He/she/it has vast, mighty wings; heroically died protecting an egg from Godzilla; and is known to frequent the fashion blogosphere. Interesting factoid: Mothra can’t wear hats due to the antennae issue.
3. Coco. What’s not to love? In addition to her ample talents, she’s the beloved of Ice-T, another one of my Law & Order-related obsessions. I like how Ice-T scares confessions out of TV villains and that he loves Coco so much that he included her in the cover art for his CD. Check out that album art. The word that comes to mind is “elegant,” no? Okay, that’s not the word. I wonder if Coco and Ice-T are the people who found my blog by Googling “ass jewelry”! Mr. and Mrs. T, please call me! We’ll do a custom design.
4. My old standby obsession: fish feet. Christian Louboutin! Please send me these shoes! Size 6.5. But it’s kind of hard to predict what will fit me. Hmm. You’d better send sizes 6 through 7. In my fantasies, I get these shoes, go out with a camera and make strangers on the street pose with me while they point to my shoes with exaggerated expressions of horror. Then I post all the pictures here. What?! Don’t give me that look! I bet you have pervy fantasies too! Jesus! At least I don’t write slashfic!
6. Korea. I once went Seoul with my friend Deb. We had some exciting experiences, including getting belched at (Deb) and pinched by old ladies (me). I have no idea why this trip led to a decade-long obsession. It has also led to an annoying habit of making American-born acquaintances of Korean descent (none of whom have been to Korea) talk for hours about Korea. I’m sorry, Mike. I just can’t seem to help myself. In my defense, I recently delighted a tourist from Seoul by saying “thank you” in Korean while giving him directions to the Empire State Building. I know HE should have thanked ME, but I don’t know how to say “you’re welcome.” If any of you peeps go to Seoul, watch out for old ladies who wear matching outfits and run around in packs.
Below is a photo of me on the border of North and South Korea back in 1990-something. The handsome army dude is thinking, “Why do I always have to pose with the crazy ones?” The guy in back of us is a spy. Kidding! He’s looking for the Empire State Building. I told him to take the Lex! Pay attention next time.