I adore Lady Gaga, but I think The Key of Awesome’s parody of the Gaga-Beyonce Telephone video is better than the real thing. I can’t stop singing it.
If Gaga and Beyonce answered the parody video with a parody of their own — including Wendy Brandes jewelry p-p-p-p-p-p-p-product placement, of course — they would be my idols. Don’t worry! They wouldn’t replace my longtime idol, Coco. They would all be co-idols and live happily ever after.
Here are the lyrics (accuracy not 100% guaranteed — if you have corrections, let me know). Sing to the tune of Telephone, obviously:
Gaga: What do you say, BK?
Beyonce: You gonna tell me the concept for this telephone video or what?
Gaga: Well, first of all this song is not as good as Bad Romance
And it’s not even close to Poker Face or Just Dance
So I will distract them by getting half-naked
And throw everything at them but the kitchen sink-sink
The kitchen sink-sink
What do you think-think?
I will prove that I don’t have a penis, wink-wink.
First I’ll get stripped naked by some burly prison guards
Then make out with a she-male in the prison yard-yard
Beyonce: This video seems goofy
You should just do it alone.
Besides I’m getting sick of all these songs about phones.
Gaga: Bail me out of jail then we pause for some bad dialogue
We poison everyone including a cute dog.
Then we start to dance and there’s dead people everywhere
As usual, I have lots of crazy crap in my hair.
Hide d-dead-dead bodies in the b-b-basement
Blood and guts and boobs and butts and I just want to make your head explode!
Beep-beep-beep-b-b-beep-beep-beep, that was Lady Gaga in Morse Code.
Beyonce: If you think I’m doing this then you’re a crazy bastard.
You must have blown a gasket.
Are you trippin’ on acid?
As a child were you abused by some big crazy bastard?
And did he ever make you place the lotion in the basket?
I just want to do a simple shoot with dancin’
You used to be a diva (?) now you’re Marilyn Manson.
Gaga: You’re gonna do my video and do it my way.
I’d hate for something bad to happen to your family.
Beyonce: My family-y?
Gaga: That’s right Beyonce.
A piano might accidentally fall on Jay-Z.
Beyonce: Somebody help me ‘cos I don’t wanna sing anymore.
She’s got a gun to my head on the dance floor.
Gaga: Rub-a-dub-dub, three nuns in a tub,
and they’re doing it with the garden gnome.
Beyonce: Please don’t beat me up but I have to ask,
what does it have to do with a telephone?
“You crazy bitch! *screams*”
UPDATED MAY 26, 2010: Great interview with Gaga here. It’s got nothing to do with this parody. I just needed it on my blog!
haha, i love that video!
Lenya Jones says
Isn’t this hilariousness! My favourite line is “rub a dub dub, three nuns in the tub doing it with a garden gnome”.
Julia, the Thanksgiving Girl says
Lol at co-idols! Can’t wait to check out the parody, will do so later tonight 🙂
Make Do Style says
Brilliant! I think your current p p p p product placement is a winner as well…lots of posts on your earrings xx
Couture Carrie says
Suzanne aka Punk Glam Queen says
I so needed to laugh thank you! (I actually have what might be considered crazy shit in my hair right now!)
BRILLIANT, hahhaha i wonder if Gaga and Beyonce have seen the video.
hahahahahh this is the BEST THING EVER, thanks so much for sharing! haaaaaaaa i can’t stop watching it and laughing and then watching it again.
How could you NOT love this. It’s awesome.
fritha louise says
Oh my god this is amazing!
lmao I saw this on Perez also I thought it was hilarious. Awesome I love it.
Yeah, I’m reposting this tomorrow.
You get full credit for this discovery.
I think I’m the 10 millionth person to “discover” the video, but I’ll happily take credit anyway. I did write out the lyrics myself! By the way, if you see any mistakes in those let me know so I can fix them. There were about three lines I wasn’t totally sure of.
Arushi Khosla says
I think I just about bust a gut laughing.
Alyssa and I are gonna see her in concert in Sept! I already had a dream about picking my outfit and yes it involved drag queen wigs 😉
To quote Beyonce, “You crazy bitch.”
Can’t believe you took the time to type out all the lyrics. That’s love, WendyB. Love for Gaga. OK, I’m gonna say it… you’re gaga for Gaga! Well, I’m kookoo for cocoa puffs, so….
Women in just caution tape, now there’s a trend we can heartily endorse. No, really, I wasn’t kidding.
La Belette Rouge says
I hope Coco appreciates your loyalty!
You are multi talented. Submit it to Gaga 😉
And when I first saw that jail scene I cracked up
laughing! Of course I had to explain it to the rest of my household.
that was great wendy. thanks for the laugh, and taking the time to type out those lyrics.
Ella Mode says
Wow, that was kind of better. And the lyrics have discernible meaning.
I love GaGa\’s music, but not her videos. I\’m the lame type who likes things to be literal, but I guess this Beyoncé is kind of with me.
I also think I\’m the only person who just really loves GaGa\’s music, and is not really into her look too much. (Except I am all eyes on her Birkin stunt.)
Just love good pop music, and hers is the best because the lyrics (usually) have deeper meanings about pop culture = the best!
By the way, I think you might like my post today on GaGa\’s Birkin, but I\’d love to hear your thoughts either way!
wishing you a gorgeous day!
Queen Michelle says
I know jackshit about Lady GaGa, or Beyonce for that matter, but those lyrics are hilarious!
Whoever came up with this – THANK YOU! Hilarious, I really had to lol! Thanks Wendy (who cares if you were the 10 millionth)
I do love the Telephone song but not as much as Bad Romance. I’m glad they agree. That video is awesome. Thanks for sharing!
Denise @ Swelle says
Ba ha ha!!! Awesome.
Oh my goodness. This parody is brilliant!! I am subscribing to them on youtube. It’s hilarious!
deja pseu says
1. Love the Miu Miu clogs.
2. That video is a scream. I’m sending to my sister so she can scream too.
Pearl Westwood says
pretty face says
Hahaa. I watched it on your excellent recommendation. Still don’t think it’s as funny as the English video, but it’s a close second 😉 xxx
Prêt à Porter P says
This was hilarious! “A piano might accidentally fall on Jay-Z” and “Rub a Dub Dub” are my favorite lines!
Julie Anne Rhodes says