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Where’s the Beef?

June 7, 2009 by WendyB

I grew up with Heinz Ketchup commercials that used Carly Simon‘s song Anticipation to make the point that the ketchup was so thick and rich that it came out of the bottle very slowly.

Times have changed. Last night, while out at dinner with my gorgeous friends Jen, Kevin, Alyssa, and Amanda, I became distracted for a split second while holding a miniature Heinz bottle over my burger. This was the result.

Anticipation? Not really. More like premature ejaculation! My photo reminds me of a different commercial — for the fast food chain appropriately named Wendy’s.

Ironically, the thing that distracted me from my ketchup pouring was the fact that Amanda was commenting unfavorably on the bun to beef ratio of our burgers. She made up for it by sharing her fries. I certainly had enough ketchup for them!

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Filed Under: food, gorgeous friends, TV

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sister Wolf says

    June 7, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    A friend who will share her fries = one in a million.

  2. altamiranyc says

    June 7, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    watered down Recession Ketchup! about as funny as my watered down jelly at breakfast awhile back.

  3. Damsels says

    June 7, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    oh yummy!
    We Were Damsels

  4. Sharon Rose says

    June 7, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    LOL, the ketchup on your burger couldn't escape the bottle quick enough!! And of course, it goes without saying we will meet up for a drink in July-looking forward to it!!

  5. Prunella Jones says

    June 8, 2009 at 1:10 am

    Well ketchup is a vegetable, right? Looks like you got at least two servings there and you only need five a day. Very healthy.

  6. the maisies says

    June 8, 2009 at 4:07 am

    bahaha. looks like a little tomato sauce accident!

  7. ~Hurricane B~ says

    June 8, 2009 at 4:11 am

    Wow, just wow. I remember that one where the guy had time to run allllll the way down the stairs out in the street before his Heinz finished dropping. I love the old commercials. Glad your friend shared some fries, and hopefully next time they will not have…um *pre* issues.=)

  8. Fashion_Loving_Stylist says

    June 8, 2009 at 6:03 am

    Your ketchup looks suspiciously like our tomato sauce

  9. Tina says

    June 8, 2009 at 6:51 am

    That looks like a very disappointing burger experience. But at least with a burger that small, you can feel better about loading up on the fries!

  10. janettaylor says

    June 8, 2009 at 7:21 am

    YUMMY!

    X♥X♥

  11. thepreppyprincess says

    June 8, 2009 at 7:47 am

    Hate it when that happens…but we have to say, despite that the ketchup tragedy, it still looks mighty yummy.

    tp

  12. jayne says

    June 8, 2009 at 7:51 am

    haha premature ejaculation

  13. fashion herald says

    June 8, 2009 at 8:18 am

    oh my god i need a burger right now.

  14. Sal says

    June 8, 2009 at 8:48 am

    Ketchuped! And man, I agree with your friend … where IS the beef?

  15. Couture Carrie says

    June 8, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Hmmmmmmmm burger…. now I am craving one! Love these vintage ads ~ happy memories!

    xoxox,
    CC

  16. jennine says

    June 8, 2009 at 9:08 am

    there's no such thing as too much ketchup….

    mmm.. first thing i do when i land on us soil… eat a medium rare angus burger. i know, gross… but i'm a bit of a raw foodist that way.
    😉

  17. BeckEye says

    June 8, 2009 at 10:28 am

    As a Pittsburgh gal, I know all the best ways to get ketchup out of the bottle. A secret not a lot of people know: when you're holding it, hit the etched "57" on the side of the bottle. (There are a few of them, all the way around the bottom of the neck area.) Ketchup comes right out. You might have to hit it a few times to get a good flow going, but it's better than slapping the bottom to no avail, or jamming your knife up there.

  18. InnyVinny says

    June 8, 2009 at 10:38 am

    It's sad that your burger got shot. Or at least it looks that way. LOL.

    Somehow this reminds me of the time I ordered strawberry lemonade and instead of pureed fruit, I got a ketchup floater. You can probably guess that I was none too pleased with the flavor.

  19. Dr Zibbs says

    June 8, 2009 at 10:45 am

    When I used to go to Wendy's with friends I would embarrass them by repeating, "Where's the Beef"…but in a terrible imitation.

    And I'd prop myself up so the people in the window couldn't see me.

  20. Miss Janey says

    June 8, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Ketchup is a delicious and versatile condiment, but remember- ketchup is not a vegetable.

  21. La Belette Rouge says

    June 8, 2009 at 11:58 am

    Even catsup has gone instant gratification.

  22. Kristin says

    June 8, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    Ketchup has thinned with the economy I'm afraid.

  23. Dream Sequins says

    June 8, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    Hahaha. I'll have a side of beef with that ketchup. Those commercials were so iconic. The thing is, should we really be eating that much beef to begin with? I love a fresh hamburger bun, especially the ones from In-and-Out burger.

  24. lisa says

    June 8, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Hehe the ketchup:beef ration in that photo looks like it's 2:1.

  25. Lexie says

    June 8, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    you are so funny!

  26. Bex says

    June 8, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Haha..the beef patty seemed kinda small compared to the bun..

  27. KD says

    June 8, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Should I put ketchup on my Shake Shack veggie burger?

  28. katrocket says

    June 8, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    That's an awesome pic, though! It looks like your burger is wearing a raspberry beret – the kind you find in a second-hand store.

  29. enc says

    June 8, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    I have to say, I side with Amanda in that the burger is woefully small in comparison to the bun. WTF?

    Also, it's clear that they've thinned out ketchup now, as it comes cascading out of my bottle too!

    Jezo.

  30. TheShoeGirl says

    June 8, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    This made me LOL

  31. Thumbelina Fashionista says

    June 8, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    LOL!! Actually I hated the anticipation of those old glass bottles. They drove me mad. Is that terrible?! (As you can see, I love instant gratification!)

  32. Annie says

    June 8, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    I was hungry before reading this post and OK, now I'm really hungry… 🙂

  33. Lipstick says

    June 8, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    I love this post!!! I remember those commercials! I even had a button that said, "where's the beef?".

    Remember putting a zillion buttons all over a Guess jean jacket? I don't think I looked nearly as cool as I thought I did.

  34. WendyB says

    June 8, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Lipstick, totally! And believe it or not, I've been collecting buttons to recreate that look. I have a weird desire for it. My denim jacket is not by Guess, though. Does that make it better?

  35. Cris Lazoru says

    June 8, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    hahaha funny! now i'm kinda hungry . . .

    C.

  36. Girl Japan says

    June 9, 2009 at 12:18 am

    Oh my gosh, that reminds me of the Carl's Jr. commercials, I knew I could come over to you and get a laugh, you always make me "giggle" and take me back to nostalgia….hence Ms. Carly, but that is serious PRE-ejaculation, but was it good?

  37. Deine kleine Schwester says

    June 9, 2009 at 4:14 am

    Hi Wendy,
    first time I'm visiting your lovely blog!
    Wow, that looks so very yummy! Amazing!!! I can remember the day when I purchased the first Heinz ketchup bottle – as well as on the first time when the beloved Heinz glass bottle fell down to earth… 🙁
    Boohoo!!
    Have a fantastic day!
    xoxo, Sofie
    (www.modediktat.de)

  38. Dr Zibbs says

    June 9, 2009 at 5:09 am

    You were in my dream last night and I wrote a post about it.

    Hope you don't mind that I lifted a picture of you.

    You were very pleasant.

  39. yiqin; says

    June 9, 2009 at 6:00 am

    The beef looks good!!!

  40. Renaissance Woman says

    June 9, 2009 at 8:15 am

    Hmmm..I might need to stick with veggie burgers.

  41. Frances says

    June 9, 2009 at 11:18 am

    You know, ketchup is one of my all-time loves. When I was a kid, I used to pour it on everything at the dinner table (except dessert!) and everybody would get disgusted. I loved ketchup that much!

    My favorite thing to do now is open a can of tuna and pour ketchup all over it and eat that while watching TV. Ahh, ketchup!

    So this post of yours is pure love for me. Yep, even with runny ketchup like that!

  42. Sadako says

    June 10, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Ewww, tuna ketchup?! Still, I wish to subscribe to your newsletter, Frances.

  43. Agent Lover says

    June 15, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    NOW I WANT A BURGER! GAWT DAMN. I had Where's the Beef? puffy stickers when I was a kid!

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MEET WENDY BRANDES

Award-winning designer of fine jewelry inspired by women's history and pop culture. A former journalist who writes about jewelry, fashion, medieval history, news, feminism, dogs, cats and whatever else is on her mind. Blogging since 2007.
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