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Do You Want It Wrinkly or Ignorant?

May 5, 2009 by WendyB

A few months ago, someone submitted a comment to this blog accusing me of being a “wrinkly slut.” My first reaction was to say, “Mom, that’s the pot calling the kettle black!” I kid, I kid. My mother is smooth and chaste. In reality, my first reaction was to say, “‘Wrinkly Slut’ would be a great name for a cocktail!”

Since then, we — and by “we,” I mean “my gorgeous friend Tina, working entirely by herself” — have slaved over the recipe for the Wrinkly Slut. One effort included cranberries, but Tina’s final creation is a spicy margarita. Behold!

The Wrinkly Slut is garnished with a Thai chili pepper and a slice of jalapeno. I’m going to let Tina announce the recipe to the world since she deserves the credit, but I assure you it’s very tasty. I also assure you that I’m not as inebriated as I might appear in this photo.

Cheers!

I swear on my chaste mother that I only look bleary-eyed because I was laughing so hard at a Bethany-Kelly conversation on The Real Housewives of New York City. Anyway, I think Tina should do a whole line of Slut cocktails. I think there would be a lot of demand for the “Ignorant Slut.”

UPDATED TO ADD: I apologize to the people outside the U.S. who can’t see the Saturday Night Live clip from Hulu. It was the best I could do, because the toothless whores at NBC hunt down and delete any SNL clips that appear on YouTube.

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Filed Under: gorgeous friends, pictures of me, TV

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Whiskeymarie says

    May 5, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    This may very well be the best name for a cocktail. EVER.

    Once I get the recipe, I will proudly drink one (several) in your honor.

    Signed-
    -Another Wrinkly Slut

  2. Carolie says

    May 5, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    You left a comment on a post I made last fall, and I’m such a ditz, I don’t think I responded to you! I’m so sorry! The post was about a bunch off silly Japanese candies and stuff I was auctioning off to benefit Nie Nie. http://wordmagix.blogspot.com/2008/09/silent-auction-of-japanese-sweetness.html

    ANYway…I love sharing bits and pieces of this marvelous country with others, and you were kind enough to comment…and I believe in spreading joy…so, after far too many ellipses (ellipsisises?) I’d like to offer to send you a little package of Japanese “cuteness” (for free). Please contact me at carolie(AT)wordmagix(DOT)com.

    Thanks!

  3. Bex says

    May 5, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    Hahaha… brilliant name for a cocktail!!

  4. Sharon Rose says

    May 5, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    Hi there-I think you could be inspiring a glut of slut cocktails, this one looks fabulous!

  5. lisa says

    May 5, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    Lol oh geez, I think I remember you mentioning that comment to me! This sounds like a cocktail I’m going to have to try.

    And boo, Hulu has detected my very Canadian IP and given me its polite version of the “Bugger off, you’re not American and can’t watch this video” message.

  6. wrennybird says

    May 6, 2009 at 12:44 am

    What a great way to make lemonade out of a lemon, so to speak.

  7. petite and dynamite says

    May 6, 2009 at 12:47 am

    love the wrinkly slut. and by the way, team Bethany all the way.. but the best is Jill’s response to the food suggestions for her event.

  8. Fashion_Loving_Stylist says

    May 6, 2009 at 2:12 am

    Fabulous. I love how you made lemonade out of lemons.

  9. coco says

    May 6, 2009 at 2:34 am

    Your blog never fails to make me laugh. It is an amazing name for a cocktail.

  10. esme and the lane way says

    May 6, 2009 at 3:53 am

    haha cool, that cocktail sounds awesome! Hooray for hilarious inspiration πŸ˜€

  11. Shrimpton Couture says

    May 6, 2009 at 5:39 am

    I will so drink up one of those with you too!! Sometimes I get so sick of mean people on the web. This is a great payback. Turns a diss into a drink.

  12. Swell Vintage - Frankie says

    May 6, 2009 at 5:51 am

    This is brilliant!

    Also, how can you be labelled a “wrinkly slut” when you have no wrinkles?!

    x

  13. Deja Pseu says

    May 6, 2009 at 6:02 am

    Love it!!! Ignorant Slut for sure, then something with British gin and call it the Cheeky Tart?

  14. CDP says

    May 6, 2009 at 6:29 am

    Ha ha ha! I had a drink called a “Dirty Ho” not long ago, but “Wrinkly Slut” is better.

    I’ll admit that I never miss the Real Housewives.

  15. katrocket says

    May 6, 2009 at 6:32 am

    Oh sweetie – who could write that about you? You’re not wrinkly at all. πŸ˜‰

  16. Jordana says

    May 6, 2009 at 6:38 am

    You are a delight!!!! This post made my morning. πŸ™‚

    BTW – I’ve seen that Bethenny-Kelly convo way too many times and I have to watch Kelly’s part through my fingers – can you say wack job?

  17. Shannon (Aesthettes Anon) says

    May 6, 2009 at 6:43 am

    I am so looking forward to updates on the slut line of cocktails now πŸ™‚

    Also, jealous much? I wish I looked like you now, let alone when I am your age!

  18. enc says

    May 6, 2009 at 6:58 am

    GENIUS!

    You and your friends ought to start a think tank.

    And open a bar.

  19. Mai says

    May 6, 2009 at 7:04 am

    i’ve seen you up close in daylight. if you’re a wrinkly slut, i aspire to be just as wrinkly a slut as you.

  20. Jade says

    May 6, 2009 at 7:10 am

    Best SNL skit ever, and great cocktail name. On a sidenote, “you ignorant slut” is a pet name my mom has for me. ha. talk about full-circle.

  21. Tina says

    May 6, 2009 at 7:16 am

    Ohhhh! I love the idea of a whole line of slutty cocktails. I’m on it!

  22. The Vegetable Assassin says

    May 6, 2009 at 7:29 am

    I think I must have that margarita! It sounds delicious and naughty.

    And someone called you a wrinkly slut? As a joke surely? Either that or they’re blind and stupid, which is always a possibility.

    And stupid Hulu won’t let me watch the video. How dare I be outside the U.S.? Hulu is a wrinkly slut.

  23. fashion herald says

    May 6, 2009 at 7:41 am

    mmmm, yummy! I know when I was a wrinkly slut I drank lots of margaritas. (still laughing over “mom” line!)

  24. Jill says

    May 6, 2009 at 7:54 am

    Are you fucking serious?! Why would anyone be so fucking mean? For what purpose??

    At least you got some mileage out of it! (Most exclamation points I think I’ve ever used) I can’t wait to get the recipe. There is a margarita at one of my favorite restaurants called a Chile Rita. Not only do I get swooningly drunk…my mouth shoots flames too! I love savory drinks.

    Signed…The Botoxed Slut!

  25. Belle de Ville says

    May 6, 2009 at 8:07 am

    Wendy….you crack me up.

  26. Sal says

    May 6, 2009 at 8:27 am

    CLEARLY, the best reaction to a troll comment EVER.

  27. jayne says

    May 6, 2009 at 8:54 am

    haha Wendy you’re awesome

  28. SkylersDad says

    May 6, 2009 at 8:54 am

    You can’t see me, but I am standing and applauding right now!!

    Well done Wendy!

  29. pretty face says

    May 6, 2009 at 8:59 am

    Haha, it’s hard to believe that you are in any way chaste or *un*drunk when you talk about naming cocktails wrinkly and ignorant sluts.

    But whatevs the cocktail looks gorgeous and so do you πŸ˜‰ x

  30. Savvy Mode SG says

    May 6, 2009 at 10:28 am

    sounds delicious!

  31. Iheartfashion says

    May 6, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Excellent!
    But I have to say whoever called you wrinkled is blind.

  32. TheSundayBest says

    May 6, 2009 at 11:07 am

    Just further evidence that my invention should be granted a patent – the Robot Laser Screener: when you enter a comment so fucking stupid it boggles the mind, you get your ass shot up. With lasers. By robots.

  33. Winnie says

    May 6, 2009 at 11:54 am

    I can’t believe someone would ever say that about you Wendy!!

    You are right though it’s such a perfect name for a cocktail. They look yummy!

  34. Siljesfashion says

    May 6, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Thats to funny! You look great.

  35. the iron chic says

    May 6, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    Wrinkly slut?! That is the kind of comment I pray to Baby Jesus for every night. Lucky Devil!

  36. K.Line says

    May 6, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    Awesome drink name. I’m always thinking up fun band names. This could work in that context too! And I love the ingredients. What better for a wrinkly slut than tequila and spice. LOVE it.

    Looking delightfully unlined in the photo, btw πŸ™‚

  37. Dream Sequins says

    May 6, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    Damn. Jealousy. It causes people to say some ugly things! Love you and your blog. FYI, I can’t believe Real Housewives is already over! It was nice to see Simon and Ramona getting down on the dancefloor. They need to do more dance offs to ease the tension. Haha. And the Wrinkly Slut cocktail looks amazing πŸ™‚

  38. SOS! says

    May 6, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    THEY WHAT!…………DICKHEADS.
    xx-LJ from SOS!

  39. RenΓ©e Sturme says

    May 6, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    god that looks delicious.

  40. swelledenise says

    May 6, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    I’ve never been as thirsty as I am now.

  41. Cammila says

    May 6, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    You’re such a classy dame. It takes a smart broad to know the only way to deal with a troll is cocktail hour.

    And for the record, even though it goes without saying: trolls don’t pick on people who actually fit the epithet. Clearly.

  42. miss cavendish says

    May 6, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    Dan Ackroyd’s Canadian accent is so sex-ay.

  43. Nina (femme rationale) says

    May 6, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    wth would call you a wrinkly slut? btw, great name for a drink.

    and the bethenny vs. kelly “talk” they had at jill’s…oh man. it seemed like they edited 2 completely different convos and made it into one, that’s how off the wave length they were. kelly is whack.

  44. Robin says

    May 6, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    Yum! While you’re at it, sign me up for a “Toothless Whore”.

  45. hollarback says

    May 6, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    “‘Wrinkly Slut”?! That is hysterical!

    Aren’t insults supposed to make one angry or hurt rather than bring laughter?

    They need remedial insults 101.

    The garnish for the drink should be the wrinkly head of one of those apple head dolls!

  46. miss sophie says

    May 6, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    first off. brilliant comeback at the jerk who dared to hurl such nasty epithets!

    second. i also am addicted to RHNY. you should tradmark ‘The Wrinkly Slut’! i can think of thousands of bars in nyc that would love to have it on the menu πŸ˜€

  47. Shawn says

    May 6, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    Sounds like something that I have been called….

    Heh, heh—no, really I was thinking that we should have a cocktail named “Botox Bitch”—dedicated to all those housewifes from LA!!

    By the by—-hate Kelly—love Bethany….

  48. emily says

    May 7, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    way to get that nasty commenter back!! πŸ™‚

  49. Thumbelina Fashionista says

    May 7, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    That person obviously has no class.

    You, on the other hand, are HILARITY personified. That looks yummy…

  50. Imelda Matt - The Despotic Queen of Shoes says

    May 7, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    PURE GENIUS!!!!!

    Down under it’s likely to be translated into ‘wrinkly effing mole’ and that’s not something that I’d be inclined to drink.

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MEET WENDY BRANDES

Award-winning designer of fine jewelry inspired by women's history and pop culture. A former journalist who writes about jewelry, fashion, medieval history, news, feminism, dogs, cats and whatever else is on her mind. Blogging since 2007.
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