I’m putting my foot down. I’m tired of people giving to a charity in someone else’s name in lieu of a holiday gift. It’s so damn smug, like we benighted souls would never think of giving if these saints didn’t light the way with their powerful sunbeams of goodness. Naturally, these gifts are never to our favorite charities, but to the givers’ pet charities. So isn’t that all about the giver (who also gets the tax write-off) rather than the recipient? Note to all potential gift givers: Give me some smelly soap, a $10 bottle of wine, drugstore chocolates, a 2009 calendar with pictures of kittehs playing, or nothing — I don’t care as long as you give me a break from your self-righteousness.
This tree is my holiday joy, weighed down by the ornament of smugness.If you insist on giving to a charity in my name, make it one of those that I really care about: the Committee to Protect Journalists, Donors Choose, Minds Matter Inc. of NYC, the Young Survival Coalition, the ASPCA or the New York Times Neediest Cases Fund. (Another non-profit that would truly appreciate your business is Wendy Brandes Jewelry.) Don’t be like a company for which I used to work that sent out a note every year saying it was donating an unspecified sum to an unspecified children’s charity in lieu of throwing us a holiday party. While we employees were getting wasted on our self-purchased holiday beers, we decided that the “children’s charity” was really the “executives’ childrens’ college fund.” We were totally unimpressed that this act of unspecified philanthropy came at the expense of free beer for employees. Similarly, if you need help getting into the heaven that I don’t believe in, don’t do it at the expense of my 2009 kitteh calendar. Kthxbai.
haha best rant post evar! i hope you get your kitteh calendar!
OMG yes. THANK YOU. This pisses me off too. My company also used to employ the “We are donating in lieu of something nice for you guys” thing. Well screw YOU guys. It was always a charity I couldn’t give a shit about and I was always a little indignant. It was basically an excuse to send a hundred bucks to some charity so that they could be smug about not spending SEVERAL hundred bucks on a party for us. Cheapskates.
I’ve never received that kind of gift, but it must be awful!
It’s so ridiculous isn’t it? I’m getting you what I got you last year WendyB!
Get this practice some crutches- it is LAME. Like WendyB, Miss J is quite capable of writing her own check to the charity of her choice.
You know… I totally agree. AND I have a story for you. So snuggle up and enjoy:
When I was younger my mom’s only uncle and his butch wife who nobody likes (we like the uncle, not the shim) used to send my sister and I $150 EACH every Christmas. It was our favorite part of Christmas ’cause to a 6 and 9 year old thats a big ol chunk o change!
Well, my mom wasn’t the best about teaching us to write thank you notes. Something I kind of resent to this day because I hate that I’m not one of those people that send thankful little notes and such. I should take matters into my own adult hands and become that girl… eh hem. Anyway.
So we didn’t write them thank you’s for their generous gifts and after about 6 years of no thank you’s… they switched gifts.
Every year we got cards that said: A donation has been made in your name to so and so charity. WTF? We were like 13ish. I was pissed.
So now, I can’t help but think of this kind of gift as a sort of punishment. A “we don’t really like you but we have to send SOMETHING.” That may be a terrible way to think of it, but that’s what I saw.
Ok. That’s the longest comment I’ve ever written.
It IS kind of a lame cop-out gift; if you’re a lazy-ass person who can’t be bothered to take the time and pick out a thoughtful gift, at least try not to smother the laziness with self-righteousness to hide it! I think the “charitable donation” as gift schtick should only happen if the gift recipient asks for it specifically and names the charity or charities the donations go to.
This holiday season, I will be donating $100 to your favorite charity: Cadbury Milk.
I don’t mind just so long as they’re not smug and don’t choose a charity that doesn’t need it. Every year my Grandma gives me one of those Heiffer Help thingies and my sister and I (we get one each) get to choose which animal to send to a family in Africa. (I know this is super un-PC but I forget which country.) I usually choose a goat or sheep.
Enc is hilarious.
And rock on WendyB. I completely agree. The hols are about saying “I want to acknowledge you with something lovely”. What’s wrong with getting a gift? Especially if it’s a pomegranate pendant.
Totally right. I have my own favorite charities, and I donate to them myself.
Amen, sister!
xoxox,
CC
i couldn’t agree more! and your little caption under the charlie brown comment just about made my day.
My dad loves those “donate a goat” type gifts, but I’d be really depressed to get one myself.
I once went to a wedding where the “favours” were little cards at each place telling us that the bride and groom had made a donation in our name to a particular charity. Which was “faith based” and with a reputation for bad management and corruption and which I would never in a million years donate my money too. Grrrr!
Too f@@kin’ funny…you rock girl! Keep tellin’ us how you really feel!
Too right, you. Giving to charity in someone else’s name is one of those gifts that does NOT work best as a surprise.
I agree it’s much more personal to donate to one of your pet causes, but if your friends want to save the whales and you don’t care as much as they do, is that “self-righteous”? And it’s way more meaningful to contribute to one of YOUR causes. Your former employer gets a lump of coal for accountability re that unspecified charity.
Re “they get the tax write off”, you might, in the spirit of your post, request that they give that amount to you, so you can spend it on yourself. Then you could select your own kitten calendar.
Shoe Girl: You reap what you sow, eh hem. Do you really expect someone to give you a gift after years of not saying thanks?
Awesome, especially your last sentence! (OK, second-to-last if you consider ‘Kthxbai’ a sentence.)
no no!! I totally agree with their decision to stop sending checks- But that’s why I think of these as “punishment gifts”
😉
Haha, I got given “PLANT A TREE IN YOUR NAME!” thing one year. Noble sentiment maybe, but all I can think is “I don’t even get the effing tree!”
I am soooo with you on this, Wendy. I mean, it’s that old Seinfeld “Human Fund” business, minus the laughter.
WB jewelry is all over my wish list this year!
I am so tired of charitable organizations always acting like they’re so much better than me.
Too true! Who needs the gift of feelings of inadequacy for the holidays?!
the only time it didnt bug me was when one of my friend’s received a stuffed animal along with the donation her aunt made in her name. it was cute then.
Absolutely agree in every way. I don’t have a problem with ‘donation’ presents if that’s what the recipient actually wants but if not, then they’re getting a year’s worth of lolcats to chuckle over…
Unspecified children’s charity? Suspicious indeed.
Agreed.
And you know who really don’t appreciate these kinds of gifts? Children. It’s tough to explain to a 3-year old that someone has given his present to a more needy child.
If you want to donate to a charity in my name, make the check out to my mortgage company.
best picture caption ever. EVER!!!
Your old company should not have given your holiday wine and beer to un-named children. That is just wrong.
Great post, Wendy! I’ve already thought that it was a ridiculous way to give a gift. Charities should be a separate giving enterprise, not an excuse to kill two birds with one stone.
Strangely enough I totally agree! I do feel terribly though that my post may have spurned a rant like this! I meant sepcifically give a present to a giving tree. You can’t get tax breaks from buying toys at Kmart. I just thought that instead of buying your friends yet another piece of gourmet soap or more champagne or their tenth box of chocolates you could use the money to buy a needy kid a toy. I would never pressume to give actual money to a charity that I support in the name of my friends! I just recently moved house and threw out so much crap that I’m just really against shitty little ‘it’s the thought that counts’ gifts that end up being thrown away. How many candles does one person really need?
Great debate though! 🙂
Don’t worry, Lady Smaggle! I’d been meaning to rant about this a long time and your post just reminded me of the general issue! I also have been meaning to rant about people who send holiday cards with photos of their adult children on them but I don’t know if I have the energy.
Oooh! I feel you on this! Last year I wanted to do a secret santa in the office (moral was especially low at the time and i thought it would perk things up) and one woman sent out an email saying, “instead of buying each other crap for $10, we should give it to charity”. well, of course no one even organized that so we ended up doing nothing at all. don’t people get that it’s as much about the emotional gift as it is about what is physically given?
A Kitteh calendar!!!
I agree with you on the charity thing- I hate when smugness comes with any gift- blehk.
hahah i agree 100% with this post. if people actually consulted me i would gladly name a specific charity but i absolutely loathe when they just go ‘oh i sent $___ to ____ (insert charity i had no interest in)’ and i’m like what. if a donation is made in my name i want it to be for a charity that i am passionate about!
I Got my In Laws A “PIG” through Oxfarm ….. but thats only because i don’t like them…..
This is hilarious and so true. I love you, Wendy Brandes.
what a great rant!!!! love it! your nothing bonus beats the $10 bonus checks I would get from a certain company every year. Mind you I was working for a child welfare non-profit at the time. But that period in my life unfortunately made me very bitter about certain things (a shame really) like charities. But that’s a rant of my own….
hahah. love it. and how enc remembers about your cadbury fondness.
FINE, I will cancel my donation to the toy drive for Britney spear’s kids I made in your name.
I’m so glad someone said this. I agree completely.
Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode when George is too stingy to buy ppl presents so he decides to “donate” in their name..
The only people who do this are cheap-ass, scrooge-y losers who think they’re doing people a favor.