While I was finishing up my recent blog redesign, I invited people to ask me questions for the new FAQ page. I couldn’t come up with short and sweet, FAQ-style answers to all of them, especially the ones about comments. I’ve received nearly 41,000 comments since I started this blog in 2007, so when Stacy Lomman asked, “I want to know the most annoying or stupid or bitchy comment you ever got from a reader?” I wasn’t sure where to start. When Tina Mougouris followed up with, “…have you ever received a comment that was touching or moving ? Something that gave you the warm fuzzies?” I figured I’d answer in a post.
Starting with the good news, I have indeed received many touching/moving/warm-fuzzy-inducing comments. Too many to count, as a matter of fact. I particularly enjoy the “history teacher” comments: “Why couldn’t you have been one of my history teachers in grade school?!” asked Stef M in response to my 2008 Katherine Swynford post, while K.Line said, “You should be a history teacher (and I mean that as the ultimate compliment),” in response to the same year’s Lesson of 2 Evils post.
As for the annoying/stupid/bitchy comments, there are lots of those too. I try to avoid giving them much play, though sometimes I can’t resist. But it’s worth sharing a recent one because it brought back all kinds of memories, including how I got into designing big rings. After I posted a picture of my heart-shaped-diamond ring on my hand, a spammer left a comment that said that my thumb was “old-looking and unattractive.” First, I was amused that spammers have moved on from incoherent compliments (“A truly legendary beauty that you poses for your best angle. … It feels like wearing a classy one and truly it is admirable”) to body-part criticisms. It was only last spring that an emoticon-using teenager blogged a complaint about my less-than-gorgeous feet, so I immediately checked the header of my blog to make sure it still said “Wendy Brandes Jewelry” and not “Wendy Brandes, Body-Parts Model.” I don’t want to do any false advertising. I am fully aware that I am no George Costanza.
In fact, I’ve always thought my hands were “unpretty,” as the TLC song says. (You know who has pretty hands? Stacy!) This is not something that ever kept me up at night. When it comes to certain appearance issues, I remember what my mother, BarbaraB, used to tell me when I was a kid: “No one is looking at it as closely as you are.” Of course, that advice is totally out of touch in the Internet age. People are looking at it much more closely than I am! I’m thankful that my teen years preceded digital cameras and Facebook. Anyway, while I didn’t stay up at night sobbing over my hands, I did spend years trying to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative by painting my stubby nails with Essie’s subtle and inoffensive Ballet Slippers nail polish and wearing skinny little rings — if I wore rings at all. Then, one day, I looked down at my hands and thought, “Fuck it. I don’t like subtle and inoffensive. Why don’t I wear what I want?” And just like that I started wearing more noticeable polish and giant rings.
Tracylee has a great manicure technique, which doesn’t damage my cuticles like the manicures at the terrifying nail salons I normally go to. Comedian Anjelah Johnson must have been spying on me during my past manicures, which normally entail both physical and emotional abuse:
I’m so happy with Tracylee’s work that I was inspired to try a long-lasting gel manicure. Here’s the one she did for me last month using three colors by Gelish: Midnight Caller (gunmetal), Sheer White and Vegas Nights (glitter).
I got it done on December 23 and it lasted till January 7! I was immediately ready for another. Here’s my second Gelish manicure. The plummy color is called Bella’s Vampire.
If you’re in New York, Tracylee will come to your house for an appointment. You can also catch up with her at the lovely Damali NYC salon on 5th Avenue at 47th Street. Email her at tracypercival at gmail dot com to set up a time. Maybe you’ll catch me in there getting a manicure inspired by Polished Paws Up, a Lady Gaga-themed nail art blog. It’s hard to pick a favorite from that blog, but for its great potential to gross people out, I’ll have to go with the Meaticure.
I think a Meaticure would look great with a set of my swear rings.
The only thing that is more fun than giving the finger to replica-luxury-goods-pushing and hand-hating spammers is giving ALL the fingers to them!