Wendy Brandes Jewelry Blog

Never Is the Next New Thing

Happy Delurking Week, Eben Shapiro!

by

I was at the gym the other day listening to My Sharona. Having graduated from college with a degree in literature, I am obviously qualified to inform you that My Sharona is poetry of the highest caliber. Do you doubt me? Consider these lyrics.

“Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind.
My my my i yi woo! M M M My Sharona!”

I think that proves my point. Never doubt me again, my peeps. My Sharona is second only to Mickey on the list of world’s most thought-provoking songs.

Anyway, My Sharona provoked quite a few deep thoughts. My #1 deep thought was, “Is this blog a bad idea?” I started this blog to promote my jewelry line, which I do occasionally mention. I especially wanted to share stories about all the hot queens who inspire me and the troubled pop stars who occasionally borrow a ring without asking.

One of the original reasons for the blog
Sunflower ring in 18K yellow gold, blackened silver, diamonds and citrine
© Wendy Brandes 2007-2008
Photo by the astonishingly tall John Muggenborg

But infrequently updated, 100% self-promoting blogs by designers bore me, so I felt I should amuse as well as educate people on the fabulousness of myself. Hence my digressions about fish feet and strategically placed bows. While listening to the Knack, I pondered whether all of this scares off more customers than it attracts. On the other hand, would a person who is offended by riding crops really be interested in a poison ring anyway?

If any disgusted would-be customers are lurking, today’s a good time to reveal yourself. I shudder to think I almost missed National Delurking Week.

For those of you who are not up-to-date on the latest Interweb lingo, lurkers are people who read a blog but never comment. So basically I’m working like a dog to bring you the latest news from Coco’s vagina, and you never even say, “Thanks! I didn’t know a vagina could eat a pair of pants!” Delurking means you tediously sign up for Blogger or Gmail and battle numerous illegible captchas to say something witty, like “Hi” or “Her ass is totally real and I will cut you if you say otherwise, XOXO Coco’s pimp, Ice-T.”

Lurkers can make a person feel unappreciated. Or paranoid, which is how I felt last night when Eben Shapiro, a charming real-life acquaintance of mine, said something like, “Hey, I enjoyed reading about your boobs online.” His remark reminded me that in addition to disgusted-but-latex-obsessed would-be customers and, God willing, Ice-T, my lurkers include people who know me in actuality. People from my real life have commented on this blog a grand total of ten times or so. This has allowed me to persist in the delusion that my readers are chicks with huge racks, sexy weasels, royalty, bubbly Brits, pig-owning Norwegians, blonde Glamazons, street photographers, sultry San Franciscans, macaron fetishists, angry pregnant ladies and men with severe dating problems — all of whom will stay mostly online and far away from the bottle of Champagne I am draining at my husband’s latest retirement gala.

Speak now, lurkers, and enlighten me as to how badly I’m ruining my offline life! While you’re at it, you can beg me not to give you a full-name shout-out that will forever link you via Google with the words “tit jewelry.” Sorry about that, Eben Shapiro!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. I’ve commented a few times, and I really like what you’re doing with your blog.

    Anyway, I comment under my own handle, “enc,” and I’m not afraid if everyone knows I have a girlcrush on your blog.

    Keep it going.

  2. Hi Wendy. I love this post and yes, I read it wholeheartedly. What can I say, honey, at least you have lurkers! I get 200 hits a day and nobody even cares to say “hi” or “this blog scares me” or something.Your blog is precious. Don’t worry if people leave messages just for the sake of leaving one. remember, your first customer is the one who sits beside you and good or bad publicity is still, in the end publicity.
    Now, I hope I am not considered a lurker, no more.
    besos!

  3. Oh, ENC, I know you well as a lovely stalker, rather than an unlovely lurker 🙂
    I just added you to my Google Reader! Getting more organized here, or trying too. Are you really “working on your fitness” out there in Cali?

  6. My name is Melissa, and I am a Lurker. But I swear, i didn’t know it was a bad thing. I was trying to be quiet and polite. I love your blog – and your jewelry. You can count on me for comments now that I am clued in.
    Wow, I feel better already.

  7. OMG – I love love love that ring! Can I start paying you in installments? (I’m actually kind of serious…)

    PS- I absolutely heart this blog!

  8. My site is loaded with lurkers. I get a few e-mails, hundreds of hits a day but you and Leah are the only people that I know who are out there.Besides I am shameless when it comes to self promotion on my blog. How would anyone know to buy my shampoo or your earrings. Andy Warhol and all those guys promoted their own selves(did I spell that right) and they didn’t even do their own stuff. Love your stuff.Besides How would I have known about Madame Wu?

  9. Miss J, I always love receiving besos from you.
    Ana, Thank you!
    Mariposa, to you too! Nice tag work!
    Melissa, Welcome! There’s no need to be quiet and polite here. We’re all loud and bitchy (but in a nice way)!
    Princess, yes, that is possible for very special people!
    Judaysia, I never though I’d meet the monkey-bikini-Details-cover girl! Thank you, Interweb!

  10. holla from angry prego lady. omg, those lucky bitches christina and nicole are being de-parasited as we speak!

  12. I don’t know that my dating problems are “severe,” given that they’re all the fault of the women.

    Yup, all of them.

    I’ve learned nothing.

  13. PAD, you wouldn’t be you if you learned something. We love you just the way you are: as they say, ignorance is bliss.

  14. well, I’m not a lurker but I have to share the My Sharona love. It always makes me want to Elaine-dance! poetry indeed.

  15. I’m definitely your regular reader that’s how I classify myself. Oh, and an aspiring buyer/customer too :-)…

    I love My Sharona, used to jump up and down at the Hard Rock Cafe with my ex-boyfriend (now husband) when I was attending law school many many moons ago… aahh.. when can I ever jump up and down again??

    Your gorgeous sunflower ring reminds me of a mood ring I used to have, heheeee… except this one’s much precious. So when’s the new site launching?

  16. Wendy, you’re up for a rather fangirlish credit as my inspiration behind a recent outing with red lippy as soon as I can find my damn camera’s USB cables…
    And Mickey is a GREAT song- if Bring It On doesn’t convince people, nothing will.

  17. Christine: We need video of that!
    Lynn: I just checked in on the site and apparently the programmers are cursing me even as I type. Big job!
    Drusilla: Yay for red lips (and for Drusilla, my favorite character on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Next to Spike, of course).

  18. I’ll delurk! Love the blog.

    You should hear My Sharona in yugoslav. It’s even funnier than English.

  19. I’ve recently been lurking on your blog and must say it’s incredibly entertaining. I love lurkin’ cause lurkin’ can make you mine…that wasn’t meant to sound stalkery. Oops.

  21. In the spirit of delurking, Hello and you are doing a fabulous job! I have only lurked for about 20 minutes, but I am loving it all and intend to lurk more often! Happy New Year! (love the petticoats! and I think Carolly Erickson writes a good book: Mistress Ann. I haven’t read it yet, but I have read a bunch of Marie Antoinette ones, maybe I should shift my obsession).

  22. Hi Stacy! I love Marie Antoinette too. Did you read Queen of Fashion? I’m not going to post about her though (probably) until I do a piece of jewelry in her honor and I don’t even have a design yet!

  23. Ok Ok I confess!!

    I’ve been a lurker (I’m so glad there’s a name for what we do btw) but I wasn’t sure if it was necessary or not.

    Now I know that it is! And I shall comment on every post there is! Just as long as you do the same! (Just kidding)

    Fabulous blog by the way 🙂

  25. Psst, Wendy…Drusilla up there was me forgetting to switch to my normal Gmail account to comment (it’s not my real name, but I use in on other online forums- and yay for Buffy fans!)..

  26. Hey ! i am here for the first time , ( Ansam wrote about you )..
    Yeah ! Happy De-Lurking … May you all lurkers catch cold turkey . 😛

  27. Hey ! i am here for the first time , ( Ansam wrote about you )..
    Yeah ! Happy De-Lurking … May you all lurkers catch cold turkey . 😛

  28. Hey ! i am here for the first time , ( Ansam wrote about you )..
    Yeah ! Happy De-Lurking … May you all lurkers catch cold turkey . 😛

  29. Ooops Not Ansam … ‘This Lady’wrote about you

    Just subscribed you on my google reader .. will be lurking ( as well as commenting ) from there

    Peace

  30. Ooops Not Ansam … ‘This Lady’wrote about you

    Just subscribed you on my google reader .. will be lurking ( as well as commenting ) from there

    Peace

  31. Ooops Not Ansam … ‘This Lady’wrote about you

    Just subscribed you on my google reader .. will be lurking ( as well as commenting ) from there

    Peace

  32. Thank you, Terri Berry.
    Floppy, I had no idea you were a Drusilla in your other life. I swear I’ve seen another Drusilla around too…I thought it was her. Favorite quote: “I met an old man. I didn’t like him. He got stuck in my teeth.”
    Hi, Grey!

  33. YES, I’m really working on my fitness. I did so today, at a cycle class and a weight-lifting class.

    I’m proud to say I out-cycled two hardmen.

    You should see me in the weightroom; I have stick arms and walnut muscles, and I don’t look like I can lift much. I’m working at it, though.

    I loved your NY pictures, and I’m glad you’re posting things like that.

    (btw, I only comment when I think I have something useful to add, such as the above. And everything else I have to say. I have spoken.)

  34. I admire your high standards, ENC. I worked on my fitness by dragging myself through some VERY slow-paced cardio (I would probably burn more calories eating) PLUS I tend to comment on blogs only when I have something useless to say. You are my new idol!

  35. We are each others’ new idols, and we are probably making each other sick with it all!

    I’m going to try to figure out how to subscribe to your blog so I get the updates when they’re fresh. I’m a bit of a luddite, so it may take me a try or two. even though I check you out every day anyway, I like the idea of getting a notice when you wax prophetic.

  36. first time here, but i didnt want to be a lurker hehe oh and as another literature graduate i applaud u on your great critique of my sherona :p

  37. 1. I don’t lurk, but sometimes I am so shocked by your entry that I can’t think of an appropriate comment. I resolve to be less prude-y and more risque.
    2. I love your blog with all my heart, Wendy, so please promise me you will write forever?

  38. IYF, if you go, I definitely go! We’re blog twins. LOL @ the prude-y thing. I’m still sorry I don’t have the real-life voice to match the posts. I was just telling someone how I shocked you by turning up for dinner speaking in my normal baby voice instead of the cigarettes-and-whiskey voice you were expecting.

  39. I know I should comment more on fabulous blogs such as yours (and this may actually be my first time here…second?) but I have a couple of kids underfoot, a husband, a business to run, other blog friends, real friends…it’s all just too much!! I admire your writing and choice to say what you like and not worry about the business side. I shall be back and will try to stop lurking!

  41. Okay, OK..you have another blog devotee – blogging is a lot more fun than raising kids anyways.