Over the weekend, I checked People.com and got the fright of my life, or at least the fright of that minute of my life. There was a story saying George Clooney had been injured in a motorcycle accident and directly under it, a story saying Britney Spears was charged in a hit-and-run. I thought, “Holy shizz! Britney ran over George!” Wouldn’t that have been incredible? However, the two stories were unrelated. I should have grabbed a screen shot, but since I didn’t, I will repost this picture of Britney Spears wearing my Borgia poison ring during a topless lesbian pool romp, because it is impossible to say “topless lesbian pool romp” too often.