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Why Don’t You Choke on a Fashion Accessory?

December 12, 2009 by WendyB

There is only one day left to vote for me in the “prestigious” Drysdale Awards at Grant Miller Media. (UPDATED MONDAY: POLLS ARE CLOSED, BUT READ ON ANYWAY). I am nominated for Blog With the Most Swearing, Blog That is Clearly Contracted to Endorse a Product or Service, and Blogger of the Year. I am dismayed to see that I am losing ground in the swearing category. What the fuck do I have to do to convince you whores to (a) vote from me from every computer/browser/iPhone/BlackBerry that you can find or steal and (b) make all your family, friends and colleagues do the same? I have already shown you how I help other people swear more.

Maybe I need to share one of my favorite songs. In 1988, I fell in love with the movie Mondo New York, about the downtown art/club scene. I got the soundtrack (on tape!) and still listen to it. My favorite songs are Phoebe Legere‘s “Marilyn Monroe” … and Dean and the Weenies‘ classic, “Fuck You.” Here’s the Dean and the Weenies clip. Frankly, my sluts,  if a 6’6″ bald man wearing statement earrings and singing, “Fuck thermonuclear war/Fuck Mary Tyler Moore” doesn’t impress you, I don’t know what will.

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Filed Under: contests, movies, music, swearing Tagged With: kingdom of style, mondo new york, wendy brandes for francis swear rings

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. stacy says

    December 12, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    I haven’t seen anything the fuckin’ fabulous in a long time. I’m voting again…

  2. Denise @ Swelle says

    December 12, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    That Mary Tyler Moore is certainly the worse of the two evils!

    I also can’t believe you aren’t cleaning up in the swearing category. Maybe they’re looking for more ‘fart’ or ‘taint’? You might want to beef those up.

  3. KT says

    December 12, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    OK, I am becoming obsessed with my word verifs. Todays is fangbang.
    Anyway, listen the fuck up. You should offer to get a tattoo with the name of the final commenter who votes for you that ensures your win. That would be the shit.
    Or, you should arrange a date with Christian for some lucky bitch blogger. Hells yea, I would go all over the city and vote from every damn computer I could get my fat ass to. Fo sho.

  4. Candice says

    December 12, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    Sent in my kickass vote for you.
    Keep on swearin’!

  5. Rosie says

    December 12, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    You will conquer, nobody will defeat the ass kicking power that is WendyB backed by hoards of mad bloggers.

  6. Gerri Ward says

    December 12, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    OMG! I LUV this post! YOU just got my VOTE!:))
    xoxox,
    Gerri

  7. Lynette says

    December 12, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    Consider it done, hon’–my votes have been cast, all in honor of yo’ ass!

  8. Alicia says

    December 12, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    You’re only 4 ahead at the moment.

    YOU BITCHES GET ON IT!!!

  9. pretty face says

    December 13, 2009 at 5:33 am

    Maybe if you’d said ‘arse’ I’d have voted for you 😉

  10. enc says

    December 13, 2009 at 11:49 am

    I can’t believe the b@stardos are winning in the swearing category.

  11. Couture Carrie says

    December 13, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    Hysterical post, per usual, WB!
    I hope you win, bitch!!

    xoxox,
    CC

  12. Shop N' Chomp says

    December 13, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    LMAO at some of the award categories! Voted for you! 😀

  13. Marta from With Love... says

    December 13, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    GOOD LUCK…. I just voted!

  14. Honeybunches of Roses says

    December 14, 2009 at 10:37 am

    I voted for you a few weeks ago, but I decided to check it out to see if you won…and I see you got the blogger of the year…very nice!~

  15. Couture Cookie says

    December 14, 2009 at 10:53 am

    I already voted for you! So funny my anti-spam word was “leopard”… In fact, I thought about you the other day when I spotted an ultra-fab woman in the gym, taking yoga class wearing red lipstick, a leopard jumpsuit and a matching leopard headscarf. Seriously! I need to start dressing like that myself!

  16. thebeautyfile says

    December 14, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    Fuck that Gwen of “Everything I Like Causes Cancer…”

    She’s no Wendy B. She may swear a lot, but it seems like that’s all she does….

    SHITTTTTTT!

    xoxo

  17. thebeautyfile says

    December 15, 2009 at 1:01 am

    Just to clarify…I’m not a mean spirited person…I just felt like playing along with all the cursing…no offense to the winner of the cursing contest…love, peace & jewels!

    ps: my anti-spam word = beyotch

  18. wally says

    August 23, 2010 at 11:10 am

    I fell in love with that Dean & The Weenies video the first time I saw it on a bootleg copy of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Thank You!

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MEET WENDY BRANDES

Award-winning designer of fine jewelry inspired by women's history and pop culture. A former journalist who writes about jewelry, fashion, medieval history, news, feminism, dogs, cats and whatever else is on her mind. Blogging since 2007.
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