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Lemon Tree, Very Pretty

August 25, 2009 by WendyB

I’ve been having fun in L.A. but I’ve been doing a lot of work too. I managed to tear myself away from the laptop yesterday to sit by the pool for three hours.

While poolside, I pondered a lemon tree that, unlike more productive neighboring lemon trees, had put all its energy into creating a single large lemon.

An only child.

An only child.

I also had a cocktail, as I promised Kristin I would. This being L.A., it had blueberries and acai in it for a healthy antioxidant effect. Hopefully, that will counteract my Wrinkly Slut situation.

I felt so much younger after drinking it.

I felt so much younger after drinking it.

I wonder if the lemon tree noticed the lemon wedge in my drink and silently screamed, “MURDERER!” I will try to make amends with this wonderful musical interlude. Take it away, Trini Lopez!

By the way, I tweeted that I was going to the pool and gorgeous but possibly appalled blogger The City Sage tweeted back, “At first I thought it said, ‘I’m going to poo’!” I can assure City Sage and the rest of you that if you ever see a tweet like that from me, I’ve been hacked and you should alert the appropriate authorities. But if talking poo is your thing, I suggest you check out this TMI Thursday post from gorgeous blogger LiLu LivitLuvit. “Enjoy!” isn’t really the appropriate thing to say as an introduction to this post. Instead I’ll say … um … well, really, I got nothin’.

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Filed Under: insanity, travel Tagged With: los angeles

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Imogen Lamport says

    August 25, 2009 at 12:43 am

    Wendy you are hilarious. I hope that you have not angered the lemons so much they decide to come after you.

  2. koko says

    August 25, 2009 at 1:37 am

    OMG that one huge lemon is so odd, yet cute !!!!

  3. Alicia says

    August 25, 2009 at 1:54 am

    If you have time, you need to swing by here for more drinks and ish…more reasons to make that lonely lemon hate you. =D

  4. Lynette says

    August 25, 2009 at 2:05 am

    Any self-respecting lemon thoroughly understands its lot in life–to slice, to squeeze, to zest, to scent. Fear not, WendyB, you are safe. Go back and bask again beneath the only child lemon. Bring MrB with you.

    Y’all coming up to Portland?

  5. Sharon Rose says

    August 25, 2009 at 3:22 am

    Hi there-so pleased to hear you’re combining work and pleasure, the cocktail sure looks delicious!! I wonder how much more bigger the lone lemon will grow, LOL!!

  6. janettaylor says

    August 25, 2009 at 4:24 am

    I love lemonade. 🙂

    XoXo

  7. Make Do Style says

    August 25, 2009 at 4:26 am

    I absolutely love lemon trees and therefore lemons. I murdered at least one everyday – thought technically I could murder a cocktail by poolside right now.

  8. Topaz Horizon says

    August 25, 2009 at 7:29 am

    what a strange lemon tree. but it sure is pretty! and that cocktail is calling my name…

    i grabbed your seal of approval badge!

    anti-spam word: groovy

  9. Eric says

    August 25, 2009 at 8:07 am

    Your great pictures of lemons and drinks makes me think of Sorrento Italy and the Amalfi Coast! (thanks)
    Nice transition to LiLu’s blog.

  10. katrocket says

    August 25, 2009 at 8:18 am

    That lemon is clearly screaming: “Pick me! Pick me!” I don’t know how you managed to resist its advances.

  11. deja pseu says

    August 25, 2009 at 9:04 am

    How funny, we had that Trini Lopez album when I was a kid!

    If you’re into anti-oxidant cocktails, I highly recommend the Pomegranate Margaritas from Pink Taco in the Century City mall…

  12. The Maiden Metallurgist says

    August 25, 2009 at 9:26 am

    I’m dreaming of pools, lemon trees, cocktails and LA now… and I don’t even like LA!

  13. Sher says

    August 25, 2009 at 10:00 am

    LOL! Having fun here reading your “wrinkly slut” back link. I’ll take one too. At my age I’ll try anything…to see if it works.

  14. K-Line says

    August 25, 2009 at 10:15 am

    You know, that’s just what I was thinking – you are a such lemon killer! 🙂

  15. Jill says

    August 25, 2009 at 10:20 am

    Once it gets scatalogical…I’m out of there!

  16. goodlookingcorgi says

    August 25, 2009 at 10:44 am

    I bet that giant lemon is incredibly delicious. That tree put all of it’s care into that one lemon, so it has a whole tree powering its lemon flavor. The downside is that it could TOO lemony and be so sour that the citric acid eats through flesh.

    Also is it bad that I would not be surprised if someone starting twittering about their bathroom habits? I feel as if this has gotten out of control if we’re barely phased by that sort of sharing.

  17. dreamsequins says

    August 25, 2009 at 10:44 am

    You’re making me yearn for LA again… Blueberries and acai in a cocktail? Meh. The sun is definitely getting to those people.

    Also: scatological tweets: a signal of civilization’s collapse?

  18. jayne says

    August 25, 2009 at 10:51 am

    oo lemon trees look lovely

  19. Tara says

    August 25, 2009 at 10:53 am

    That must be a New York lemon – working hard to be the biggest and the best. An LA lemon would be all “Whatever – I’m just hangin’ by the pool,” waiting for the agent to call.

  20. enc says

    August 25, 2009 at 11:26 am

    I once read a short story about how the trees and plants and vegetables and flowers felt it when we cut them/ripped them out of the ground. They screamed.

  21. shoeaddict says

    August 25, 2009 at 11:46 am

    I am crying because I miss lemon martinis SO BAD. Do you think drinking one in the hospital will be frowned upon?

  22. andie says

    August 25, 2009 at 11:46 am

    That lemon looks suspiciously like a grapefruit. Either that or it has an identity crisis.

  23. Noopur says

    August 25, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    Omg I dnt think any of the commenters or commentators which ever is correct dared to click on the TMI shit post, well I did and guess my perfect timing,i had my b’fast in one hand when i opened the page, needless to say, I never finished the meal:-)

  24. KD says

    August 25, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Citrus rocks.

  25. Sheena says

    August 25, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    That lemon drink looks just divine. Perfect for what looks to be a perfect sunny day by a lemon tree 🙂

  26. alison says

    August 25, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    too funny!!!
    btw, is the swan ring in your header one of your designs? is it available for purchase? i love it.
    xox

  27. alison says

    August 25, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    ok, just checked your site for the ring (duh!)…it’s a wee bit out of my price-range…it will have to be part of my wish list for now. 😉
    you have such lovely designs!!
    xox

  28. Ebay Fashion Addict says

    August 25, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    the lemon was made for you, it knew you were coming, it was hoping you’d take it back to NY for a change of scenery

  29. ela says

    August 25, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    LOL, somethings don’t need to be tweeted.
    I always wanted a lemon tree, does it smell divine?
    Glad you found some down time 🙂

    p.s. This is the 2nd time in 5 days your blog has called me “Jezebel”…darn anti-spam, LOL

  30. Kristin says

    August 25, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    LiLu never disappoints and it gets WAY worse than poo. Ah ha. That cocktail looks heavenly. It’s currently a monsoon outside my door, so no relaxing in the sun for moi.

  31. Anne @ The City Sage says

    August 25, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    I think we should all just be glad that you didn’t poo in the pool, wendy b…not that I think you’re the type to do that sort of thing! I love a good poop joke now and again, so I won’t hold it against you if you ever tread down that path 😉

  32. lisa says

    August 25, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Poor lonely lemon.

  33. Iron Chic says

    August 25, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    I’ve been hankering for a pina colada lately….
    who’s to stop you from picking that lemon!

  34. beth gales says

    August 25, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Love the way the lemons photograph! Looks luscious!

  35. drollgirl says

    August 25, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    bahahha!!! your lemon talk is killing me!!!

    MURDERER!

    BAHHAHA!!! still laughing!!!!

  36. Diabolina says

    August 25, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    Didn’t realize you are still in L.A.

    Let me know if you want to get a drink before you leave.

    I always want a drink.

  37. Elissa of Spandexpony says

    August 25, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    Love this song… my parents used to play it all the time! And actually, lemons are pretty tasty if you eat them whole, skin-on, like an apple. Weird, yes, but the skin works to temper the sourness. I went on a boat ride once with this Italian guy and in the middle of it he pulled out a lemon and started chomping on it! I gave it a try, and I must say that it is quite tasty. Now you know where all the lemon garnishes on my drinks go to.

  38. Kate says

    August 25, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    HILARIOUS! unfortunately have now snorted my tea all over my keyboard, and co-worer is looking at me strangely!

  39. Midtown Girl says

    August 25, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    I am loving that wrinkly slut cocktail. Can you make one called a ‘Botox Skank’? I’m thinking something super-orangey looking and super sour…LOL

    You funny as hell chick. XOXO

    p.s. Im all over the seal of approval. For shiz.

  40. Winnie says

    August 25, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Ha, That lemon is awesome. I would have been so tempted to pick it!

  41. LiLu says

    August 25, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    Aww, thanks hon. You better have a cocktail for me, too! xoxo

  42. Tina says

    August 25, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    I think that cocktail sounds way too healthy! But refreshing…And now I need to watch some old episodes of South Park, featuring Mr. Hanky.

  43. Kat says

    August 25, 2009 at 10:31 pm

    You’re the funniest and most fabulous blogger ever, Wendy. Your lemon tree story makes my day!

  44. Gerri Ward says

    August 26, 2009 at 12:31 am

    OMG! This is not only hilarious but Contagious! You should see me rocking to Lemon Tree as I’m typing this, Wow! This was FUN! Thanks WendyB. I think I need a sip of that refreshing cocktail now!

  45. the Six Six Sick Girls says

    August 26, 2009 at 1:16 am

    Glad that you’re having a good time in LA. So jealous of you, I wish I had access to a pool in this weather…

    xxx,
    Tiffany

  46. Elizabeth Marie says

    August 26, 2009 at 3:42 am

    You’re in LA? Where? Details?!!!!! I’M IN LA.

    Umm the word verification is BERGDORF. Did you plan that?

    I’m considering the graffiti dress for my trip to Atlanta. IF it’s still available of course!

  47. qin says

    August 26, 2009 at 8:56 am

    Ah reminds me of the song 😀

  48. miss sophie says

    August 26, 2009 at 9:47 am

    that is a hilarious photo, that single lonely fat lemon hanging off all by its lonesome.

  49. KIRAFASHION says

    August 26, 2009 at 10:26 am

    So great to see Wendy that you are having a great time!
    LA must be so cool!

    I also love your observation about that great lemon…I adore to think and see the amazing things of the nature!

    You are so sweet,

    Kisses and hugs,
    Kira

  50. Mardel says

    August 26, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Very funny post. That cocktail looks and sounds lovely, although I tend to be suspicious of drinks that try to be healthy. Now I think a drink out by the pool sounds just perfect.

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Award-winning designer of fine jewelry inspired by women's history and pop culture. A former journalist who writes about jewelry, fashion, medieval history, news, feminism, dogs, cats and whatever else is on her mind. Blogging since 2007.
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