In my profile on the right, I say that in addition to other topics, I write about things that annoy me. Here are the things that annoyed me today:
- People who are shocked — shocked! — by Farrah Fawcett’s death. What? She was diagnosed with cancer in 2006 and was clearly terminal in recent months. It seems to me that she suffered too long. I think it’s appalling that people with terminal illnesses like hers and Jade Goody‘s can’t opt for assisted suicide when all hope is gone.
- Alessandra Stanley’s essay on Farrah in the New York Times. Who do I have to sleep with to make sure no one writes such a depressing story about me upon my death? Sure, Farrah had her career low points, but nothing compared to, say, those of Michael Jackson. Speaking of which…
- People who are shocked — shocked! — by Michael Jackson’s death. Did anyone envision this deeply troubled soul living to a ripe old age? See also: Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley. This is not the assassination of John Lennon, people. That was shocking. This is just tragic.
- Music producer Quincy Jones for saying of Jackson, “I lost my little brother today…“ Dude! Are you being vain about your age in someone’s obit? You’re 26 years older than Michael was. When there’s an age difference like that, you’re more parental than brotherly. (Or you might be husbandly, in my world. Still. You’re not the big brother.)
Something annoyed me last week, too, and that something was a 20-year-old cosmetology student named Kristin Lopez who wandered onto the pages of the New York Times just to antagonize me. Speaking of $13 to $25 clothes at Kmart, Ms. Lopez told the Times, “A lot of the clothes look cheap.” Fair enough. Cheap stuff often looks cheap. But then she said, “I don’t like the way they fit, and, for the quality, the prices are too high.” Those prices are too high? Those prices that include material, manufacturing, shipping, and everything else? What kind of child slave labor would you like to employ, Ms. Lopez, to ensure that your $13 piece of crap looks like a million bucks? Jebus! Stick to your cosmetology books and stay out of my paper.
To end on a positive note, my designing friend Zang Toi worked with Farrah and, in an email to me, described her as “the kindest.” Isn’t that nice to know?