If you weren’t sentient in the ’80s, you missed some interesting fashion. You also missed the moment when wealthy musicians from the U.S. and U.K. first started tormenting innocent African people with insipid charity songs. It’s bad enough to be starving. It’s worse to be starving while some craptastic song generates large amounts of money that will never help anyone because the corrupt government that caused the famine in the first place is diverting all the donations to drugs, guns and Swiss bank accounts.
The question is which is the more awful charity song: We Are the World (U.S.) or Do They Know It’s Christmas (U.K.)? Don’t answer that! It was a trick question. Obviously Do They Know It’s Christmas is worse thanks to Bono bellowing, “Tonight thank God it’s them instead of you!” Though I’m kind of feeling him right now because when I consider the many things that I regret, I am happy that at least I didn’t sing that line in a charity song. So tonight thank God it’s Bono instead of me!
For ’80s old-timers like myself, the video is the hotness. I love seeing the Durans, Sting and George Michael looking so purty!
The whole reason I brought this up is that I was singing “We are the world” to myself after being tagged by This Lady of Kuwait and Diana Bobar of Romania. I keep trying to retire from the tag business, but how can I resist such wonderful wimmins who have tagged me from so very far away? Especially since This Lady has come up a shockingly long list of questions that no sane person would ever want to answer! So I will answer This Lady today, and I will answer Diana tomorrow, and I will beat the ass of any bitch who tries to hit me with a 100-item tag.
Do your closest friends have any nicknames for you? None they’ve ever been stupid enough to share with me.
What would your ex-(boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse) say about you in one sentence? This isn’t a hypothetical for me. In real life, an ex said to my now-husband, “She’s delightful.” Ah, the polite lie. You can never go wrong with one of those.
What is the greatest achievement of your life so far? Well, I found an eyeliner that I really like. What?! Don’t judge. It took a long time to find that. MAC Fluidline.
How should people think of sex in this, the 21st century? When I think of sex, I think of Paris Hilton in nightvision. Doesn’t everyone?
Where would you live if anywhere was possible? New York City is the capital of the world, baby, and I’m already here.
Is there a religion that’s fulfilling for you and/or the masses? No.
If you had to choose between them, would you live in Hollywood, Washington D.C. or New York, and why? I think I’ve made that clear! But maybe someday I’ll get some fake boobs and lips and move out west.
When or where do you feel the most free? You know, I’ve been trying to think of my “happy place” recently, and I’m not sure where it is. Any ideas are welcome.
Now I get to inflict this on other peeps. As usual, if I tag you, you don’t have to do it, but I like to take the opportunity to promote other blogs. To continue the We Are the World theme, I am tagging Andrea of Martirio’s Way (Chile) and Only Shallow (Finland). I’m too exhausted by This Lady’s assignment to pick any more.
sid says
Hey … so guess what the next subject of my blog will be. I won’t fill in all the questions though. There’s just too many questions.
WendyB says
Don’t blame you, Sid. I’m kind of worn out. But This Lady is such a nice lady, I had to do it for her.
Mariposa says
Nice one…if work don’t get into the way…I will do this. π
WAT says
I know a guy who used to perform “We Are The World” for karaoke, and he did a phenomenal hilarious job mimicking all the artists’ voices in the original tune.
BONO SANG THAT LYRIC?! I DON’T REMEMBER THAT! MUST GO BACK AND CHECK THIS OUT! EEK!
This Lady says
Hahahaha!! Seriously I’m in stitches! Wendy u didnt have to do it if u didnt want to, but i knew u would have some of the best answers, so u cant blame me for tagging can u?
And furthermore, my Wendysian goddess of everything sarcastic, quirky and Coco-ish, it is my first tag and I was like a kid with new toys! Or like a Coco with new implants!
This Lady says
On another note, i really loved “We are the world”. Would it be embarassing to say i have it on my iPod?
Ashe Mischief says
1. I <3 you.
2. Back in the day, magazines devoted to Duran Duran used to do quite a lot for me. It still does it for me.
La Belette Rouge says
Hey, I am old enough to remember both of these songs and I still happily sing along to both should I hear them on 80’s flashback radio. I feel so old. Ugh!
ambika says
Hysterical, as always.
I tried to email you re: cat brawls but the address didn’t work. How do I get on the VIP list?
The Maiden Metallurgist says
MAC Fluidline rocks. No judgment here.
WendyB says
Oh dear…bad email news. Hmm. Which one did you try? How about wbjewelry at hotmail dot com?
Suze says
Inspiring. Did you ever know you were my hero?
WendyB says
But Suze, you’re everything I wish I could be.
The Guv'ner says
Ah dude. My sister and I, while huddled on the couch a touch intoxicated over Christmas, bellowed with delight at the Band Aid single because we were all “OMG LOOK AT THAT HAIR GEORGE MICHAEL!” and “STING, YOU TANTRIC BASTARD!” and finally “here it comes! here it comes! SCREAM IT BONO!” because really, who doesn’t laugh at that line and the little mulleted Irishman hollering it at the top of his lungs? π AWESOME!
I might have to steal your meme thing. It’s rather fabulous! Unlike the 80s. Urgh. Thanks a lot parents for having me in time to make me an ansty teen in the 80s.
The Guv'ner says
Ah dude. My sister and I, while huddled on the couch a touch intoxicated over Christmas, bellowed with delight at the Band Aid single because we were all “OMG LOOK AT THAT HAIR GEORGE MICHAEL!” and “STING, YOU TANTRIC BASTARD!” and finally “here it comes! here it comes! SCREAM IT BONO!” because really, who doesn’t laugh at that line and the little mulleted Irishman hollering it at the top of his lungs? π AWESOME!
I might have to steal your meme thing. It’s rather fabulous! Unlike the 80s. Urgh. Thanks a lot parents for having me in time to make me an ansty teen in the 80s.
The Guv'ner says
Ah dude. My sister and I, while huddled on the couch a touch intoxicated over Christmas, bellowed with delight at the Band Aid single because we were all “OMG LOOK AT THAT HAIR GEORGE MICHAEL!” and “STING, YOU TANTRIC BASTARD!” and finally “here it comes! here it comes! SCREAM IT BONO!” because really, who doesn’t laugh at that line and the little mulleted Irishman hollering it at the top of his lungs? π AWESOME!
I might have to steal your meme thing. It’s rather fabulous! Unlike the 80s. Urgh. Thanks a lot parents for having me in time to make me an ansty teen in the 80s.
WendyB says
Guv’ner, if you’d like to be officially tagged, I will happily do it with a drumroll and everything.
Del-V says
It’s sad you’d move out west before moving to DC. We aren’t all jerks down here.
No, wait…
Yes we are.
WendyB says
I’m glad you can be honest about these things, Del-V.
Miss Woo says
There’s a 100 item tag? Crazy. On the plus side, John Taylor is indeed a very dreamy man.
Lady N says
This was the best tag I’ve read ever!
Aretha says
Thanks Wendy!!! I will do this when I get home!!!!
Kian says
Ah you know my love for Band-Aid. Bono may have had that awful line but seriously I couldn’t stand “We are the World” They were copycats and they didn’t have Simon Le Bon singing for them.
BTW funny that you should mention the DD magazines for your sex toy question as a former member (heh heh) of DD *has* a sex toy out for purchase. I wish I was kidding about this but I’m not.
daddylikeyblog says
Wendy B I think I’m in love with you.
Vintage Bunny says
Hi Wendy
Thats a loooong questionnaire!!!
I bet you were tired after answering it!!!
I did hate “We are the world” but now I have it on my ipod!Dont judge me!!
stef m says
Love the new photo! I recently uncovered a photo of myself wearing a “Feed the World” shirt underneath a black and white checked blazer (with shoulder pads!) from Thanksgiving 1980something. Yes, I really did try to make my family feel guilty for the food we had on our plates! But at least I did not sing for them.
srorie says
john taylor is like total man hotness!
roller coaster teacher says
***LET THEM KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!!!*** bells chime
I was in high school, watched the concert on TV, simultaneously tape recorded the performance from the radio broadcast, thank you very much.
WendyB says
Lady N: Thank you!
Aretha: Get to work.
Kian: If a Nick Rhodes dildo is now available at a convenient retail location, please let me know immediately!
DaddyLikey: I want to marry you, take that.
VB: Immediately listen to “Dude Looks Like a Lady” as penance.
Stef: Send photo please.
Srorie: Yeah, I’d still hit it. Ha ha! I just said that to drive my husband crazy. But seriously, I would.
RCT: Didn’t we all!
lalaliu says
milk makes me feel whole too.
pistols at dawn says
That was by far one of the most entertaining memes I’ve ever read. And I’m not going to lie: for the hilarious, completely unexpected “Shane!” reference, you’ve wormed your way a little further into our hearts. While you’re there, can you check the arterial blockage? I’ve been eating Wendy’s Baconators for every meal for a year now.
altamiranyc says
ROTFLMAO, you are hilarious. I sooo want to pretend that I have a billfold that that I hold up in the air and when it opens, a drop down menu of hundreds of questions opens up.
WendyB says
PAD: I think you could use some more leafy greens and think about a handful of almonds for a snack!
Altamira: I picture you more as a flasher,with a trench coat that has 50 questions on each side.
Christine says
oh my. those charity songs are the worst ever, but “do they know it’s christmas” always makes me shiver….in a bad way. It is so condescending/horrible/icky!!! yes, bono, i’m sure they do know it’s christmas, you idiot.
your dress is so freaking adorable.
G.G. says
Wendy!!! I think I broke a rib laughing (expect the doctor’s bill next week, you heartless wench!)
Bri.... says
Ha ha, “do they know its christmas” is only good when its a room full of drunks singing it.
Would it be creepy to say I am in love with your blog? Would you mind if I put the link to here on my blog?
WendyB says
I would be very flattered if you put a link to my blog. Just don’t try to become my #1 stalker. That position is already occupied by PPIEW and she will beat a bitch’s ass if she senses any competition.
bitterbabe says
Seriously the 80s are my fave decade. hands. down.
Brightpictures says
This is hilarious!
Heather says
Meaning of life = best movie ever.
the iron chic says
Canada had it’s own “We are the World:
“Tears are not Enough.”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=i-KC9BxSibg
Kian says
Sorry Wendy, but it’s Warren Cuccurullo. It’s called the “Rock Cock” and it used to be available at Hustler. When we saw it in person, so to speak, we laughed ourselves sick.