Every December 25, I get into the holiday spirit by reminiscing about an idiot I knew in my freshman year of college. This self-described born-again Christian once went into a rant about the secularization of Christmas as symbolized by the use of “Xmas.” She thought that evil secular people had X’d the “Christ” out of Christmas. She didn’t know that the Greek letter “X” — the first letter in the Greek spelling of “Christ” — has been used as shorthand for “Christ” for centuries. No one X’d the Christ out of Christmas; X IS Christ, for Jebus’s sake! (If you want more info about the X factor, here’s an Xian’s explanation for fellow Xians.)
Anyway, here some things I wish I could say to my long-ago acquaintance in honor of the holiday.
- It’s bad to be stupid.
- It’s worse to be stupid about your own religion’s history while trying to convert an easily irritated atheist of Jewish origin.
- If your God disapproved of gays, He wouldn’t have allowed that hairstylist to give you the most unflattering hairdo since Medusa’s. That haircutting queen was actually the hand of God punishing you for your homophobia!
- Merry Titmas!
One of the only things more horrible to look upon than my classmate’s 1985 revenge-of-Harvey-Milk hairdo is this Xmas music video by my almost-husband Paul McCartney. I know you will want to stop watching and scrub your eyes with a Brillo pad after Paul serenades himself at 1:54, but I urge you to stick it out to 3:04 to see the giant, exploding present flying through the air.
Remember how Paul’s recent ex-wife, batshit-crazy Heather Mills, was claiming she had tapes that proved Paul abused her and his first wife, Linda? I think she must have been talking about this video.
Major abuse of synth there Mr McCartney.
Merry X-Mas Wendy!
Merry fucking Xmas! 🙂 I hope Santa brings you a Most Swears award.
I think the squirrel stopped to play in the record Vancouver snowfall.
HAHA! OMG you are so funny. Woot, we’re probably the only two people in the blogosphere looking at blogs at 12:30 AM Christmas day!
Sharon Rose says
Hi there-Have a happy Christmas my dear!
pretty face says
Happy X-mas, fellow atheist of Jewish origin xxx
Merry Christmas…belated Happy Birthday…and an advanced Happy New Year!
You have a great holiday season, WendyB! XoXo, Frances =)
Vintage Vinyl says
Haha you are hilarious! Merry X-Mas! Oh Paul… so lovely yet so…
Have a MERRY XMAS my dear:D HAHA Your blog is hilarious!!!
Goy Vey! It’s PresentMass!
the iron chic says
I just posted about his song on my blog!!!!!
have a superb christmas Wendy!!
The Seeker says
Merry Xmas to you WendyB and beloved ones
Princess Poochie says
Even while I’m trying to not hurl up every thing in my whole body I’m thinking of you –
THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR COMMENT
IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE FROM OUT OF SPAIN READ IT
FROM NOW I’LL WRITE IT IN BOTH LANGUAJES
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!
LOVE FROM SPAIN!
Pretty Face, are you easily irritated too?
pretty face says
I have to admit that I did find it more amusing than irritating, but that may just be the way you wrote it… 😉
dapper kid says
Haha I spent a long telephone conversation last night trying to explain to a friend of the Greek meaning behind X-mas, it involved a long description of old masonery carved with the Xp symbol. Hope you’re having a wonderfully festive day 🙂
Sorry couldn’t watch Paul McCartney’s video because (don’t hate me) but I CANT STAND HIM!
Seriously annoys the hell out of me.
♥ fashion chalet says
Happy Holidays! x
I adore that pic of Ms. Page. Excellent choice! Happy Titmas indeed!
Prunella Jones says
Hope your Xmas was Xcellent, my sweet!
I’m so glad Sir Paul is now far away from the crazy Heather. As I found out firsthand, it really hurts when she smacks you over the head with her fake leg.
Oh I cannot stand religious nuts specially those stupid ones. I heard that the Pope came out and said something like the world had to stand against homosexuality because it is more dangerous than the climate change.. what an utter idiot!!
Karl-Edwin Guerre says
Ahhh Wendy, never a dull minute in Wendyville!! I know I can always find a smile after checking your blog. Have a great holiday.
happy x-mas! you bring on the funny moments….
fabulous girl says
That was particularly excruciating. Merry happy all the jazz!
I enjoy following the “X is Christ” conversation with a quick “explain the Christian significance of the tree” question. So few know that is actually a pagan ritual.
Oh, and thank you for my present (that, of course, being Bettie Page.)
Could you say ‘gentiles’ instead of ‘goyim’? The latter has many ugly connotations…
Freddy Style says
Marry christmas dear
Wishing u not just happiness but pure joy.
Not just wealth but heavens treasure n not just silence but God’s peace
With lots of love,Freddy^^
Jorn, no, I can’t. I chose that word specifically for a post about a moron. Try to keep up!
I laughed insanely reading that. . love the fuckin’ sense of humor. . and merry xmas!
Merry (belated) Xmas-from a fellow atheist to another!
Iron Chic says
Ohhh yeeeeahhhhh. In my memory, you defended this song. Oddly enough, I have not heard it as much as usual….I almost miss it.