{"id":984,"date":"2008-12-03T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-12-03T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendybrandes.com\/blog\/?p=984"},"modified":"2008-12-03T09:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-12-03T16:00:00","slug":"i-dont-want-your-charity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2008\/12\/i-dont-want-your-charity\/","title":{"rendered":"I Don&#8217;t Want Your Charity"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m putting my foot down. I&#8217;m tired of people giving to a charity in someone else&#8217;s name in lieu of a holiday gift. It&#8217;s so damn smug, like we benighted souls would never think of giving if these saints didn&#8217;t light the way with their powerful sunbeams of goodness.  Naturally, these gifts are never to our favorite charities, but to the givers&#8217; pet charities. So isn&#8217;t that all about the giver (who also gets the tax write-off) rather than the recipient? Note to all potential gift givers: Give me some smelly soap, a $10 bottle of wine, drugstore chocolates, a 2009 calendar with pictures of <a href=\"http:\/\/icanhascheezburger.com\/2007\/04\/24\/lol-kitteh-as-a-second-language-lksl-101-in-five-easy-steps\/\">kittehs<\/a> playing, or nothing &#8212; I don&#8217;t care as long as you give me a break from your self-righteousness.<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/STSVoStskwI\/AAAAAAAAGwA\/HZ1QftUOv2E\/s1600-h\/charliebrowntree.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 202px;\" src=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/STSVoStskwI\/AAAAAAAAGwA\/HZ1QftUOv2E\/s320\/charliebrowntree.jpg\" alt=\"\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275005583008502530\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><span style=\"font-size:85%;\"><span style=\"font-style: italic;\">This tree is my holiday joy, weighed down by the ornament of smugness.<\/span><br \/><\/span><\/div>\n<p>If you insist on giving to a charity in my name, make it one of those that I really care about: the <a href=\"http:\/\/cpj.org\/\">Committee to Protect Journalists<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.donorschoose.org\/homepage\/main.html?zone=103\">Donors Choose<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mindsmatter.org\/chapter_nyc.asp\">Minds Matter Inc. of NYC<\/a>, the <a href=\"http:\/\/youngsurvival.org\/\">Young Survival Coalition<\/a>, the <a href=\"http:\/\/aspca.org\/\">ASPCA<\/a> or the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2006\/10\/31\/timestopics\/HOWITWORKS.html?_r=1\">New York Times Neediest Cases Fund<\/a>. (Another non-profit that would truly appreciate your business is <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/\">Wendy Brandes Jewelry<\/a>.) Don&#8217;t be like a company for which I used to work that sent out a note every year saying it was donating an unspecified sum to an unspecified children&#8217;s charity in lieu of throwing us a holiday party. While we employees were getting wasted on our self-purchased holiday beers, we decided that the &#8220;children&#8217;s charity&#8221; was really the &#8220;executives&#8217; childrens&#8217; college fund.&#8221; We were totally unimpressed that this act of unspecified philanthropy came at the expense of free beer for employees. Similarly, if you need help getting into the heaven that I don&#8217;t believe in, don&#8217;t do it at the expense of my 2009 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.urbandictionary.com\/define.php?term=kitteh\">kitteh<\/a> calendar. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.urbandictionary.com\/define.php?term=kthxbai\">Kthxbai<\/a>. <\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m putting my foot down. I&#8217;m tired of people giving to a charity in someone else&#8217;s name in lieu of a holiday gift. It&#8217;s so damn smug, like we benighted souls would never think of giving if these saints didn&#8217;t light the way with their powerful sunbeams of goodness. Naturally, these gifts are never to&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2008\/12\/i-dont-want-your-charity\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[53,101,144],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-984","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-charity","category-holidays","category-rants","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/984","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=984"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/984\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=984"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=984"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=984"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}