{"id":5636,"date":"2010-07-04T00:01:19","date_gmt":"2010-07-04T04:01:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendybrandes.com\/blog\/?p=5636"},"modified":"2010-07-03T18:08:01","modified_gmt":"2010-07-03T22:08:01","slug":"safety-lessons-from-uncle-sam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2010\/07\/safety-lessons-from-uncle-sam\/","title":{"rendered":"Safety Lessons From Uncle Sam"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Happy 4th of July to my U.S. readers! I know I spend way too much time thinking about fashion because Uncle Sam&#8217;s outfit reminds me of <a href=\"http:\/\/viktoretrolf.typepad.com\/about.html\" target=\"_blank\">Viktor &amp; Rolf&#8217;s Fall\/Winter 2000\/2001 collection<\/a> instead of vice versa.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_6086\" style=\"width: 383px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.sonofthesouth.net\/uncle-sam\/navy-poster.htm\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6086\" class=\"size-full wp-image-6086  \" title=\"navy-poster\" src=\"http:\/\/wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/navy-poster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"373\" height=\"506\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-6086\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Click for source.<\/p><\/div>\n<div id=\"attachment_6087\" style=\"width: 304px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.centraalmuseum.nl\/page.ocl?pageid=133&amp;expo_id=193\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6087\" class=\"size-full wp-image-6087\" title=\"VIKTOR &amp; ROLF PUPPETS SERIE 2008 \u00a9 PHOTO PETER STIGTER\" src=\"http:\/\/wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/viktorrolf1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"294\" height=\"441\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/viktorrolf1.jpg 294w, https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/viktorrolf1-200x300.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 294px) 100vw, 294px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-6087\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">A doll wearing Viktor &amp; Rolf&#39;s stars-and-stripes outfit. Click for source.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>I also know I spend too much time watching Law &amp; Order reruns because Uncle Sam makes me think of <a href=\"..\/2010\/05\/a-devastating-day-for-eyebrow-lovers\/\" target=\"_blank\">Sam  Waterston&#8217;s eyebrows<\/a>. I&#8217;m still devastated by the cancellation of Sam Waterston&#8217;s show, <a href=\"http:\/\/mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com\/2010\/05\/14\/nbc-cancels-law-order\/?src=me\" target=\"_blank\">Law &amp; Order<\/a>. I keep envisioning the eyebrows standing on the unemployment line. Sad! But Law &amp; Order didn&#8217;t air in vain. I&#8217;m going to share two important safety tips I&#8217;ve learned after years of watching the show.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>If you knock on someone&#8217;s door and the unlocked door opens a tiny bit, there&#8217;s a dead body on the premises. Run away and call 911.<\/li>\n<li>If you knock on someone&#8217;s door to return a child who slept over at your house\/casserole dish\/other item, and the woman of the house encourages you to keep the child\/dish\/other item while making weird hand gestures and looking like a hot mess, there are murderers on the premises. Run away and call 911.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here&#8217;s a bonus tip:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>If you are walking down a dark alley and hear ominous background music, there is a murderer behind you. Blow your &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/sexdrugsmoney.wordpress.com\/2010\/06\/30\/rape-whistle-style\/\" target=\"_blank\">rape whistle<\/a>,&#8221; run away and call 911.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Feel free to leave your own crime-show tips in the comments, and have a fun and murder-free holiday!<\/p>\n<p><object classid=\"clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000\" width=\"480\" height=\"385\" codebase=\"http:\/\/download.macromedia.com\/pub\/shockwave\/cabs\/flash\/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0\"><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\" \/><param name=\"allowscriptaccess\" value=\"always\" \/><param name=\"src\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/VS9oNBJEtNU&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1\" \/><param name=\"allowfullscreen\" value=\"true\" \/><embed type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"480\" height=\"385\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/VS9oNBJEtNU&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1\" allowscriptaccess=\"always\" allowfullscreen=\"true\"><\/embed><\/object> <\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Happy 4th of July to my U.S. readers! I know I spend way too much time thinking about fashion because Uncle Sam&#8217;s outfit reminds me of Viktor &amp; Rolf&#8217;s Fall\/Winter 2000\/2001 collection instead of vice versa. I also know I spend too much time watching Law &amp; Order reruns because Uncle Sam makes me think&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2010\/07\/safety-lessons-from-uncle-sam\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6086,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[101,80,39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5636","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-holidays","8":"category-obsessions","9":"category-tv","10":"entry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5636"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5636\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6094,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5636\/revisions\/6094"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6086"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}