{"id":5114,"date":"2010-04-13T00:54:44","date_gmt":"2010-04-13T04:54:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendybrandes.com\/blog\/?p=5114"},"modified":"2010-05-26T01:34:03","modified_gmt":"2010-05-26T05:34:03","slug":"as-usual-i-have-lots-of-crazy-crap-in-my-hair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2010\/04\/as-usual-i-have-lots-of-crazy-crap-in-my-hair\/","title":{"rendered":"“As Usual, I Have Lots of Crazy Crap in My Hair”"},"content":{"rendered":"

I adore<\/a> Lady Gaga, but I think The Key of Awesome’s parody of the Gaga-Beyonce Telephone video is better than the real thing<\/a>. I can’t stop singing it.<\/p>\n

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In the parody, Gaga threatens Jay-Z in order to get Beyonce to do a video.<\/p><\/div>\n

If Gaga and Beyonce answered the parody video with a parody of their own — including Wendy Brandes jewelry p-p-p-p-p-p-p-product placement<\/a>, of course — they would be my idols. Don’t worry! They wouldn’t replace my longtime idol, Coco<\/a>. They would all be co-idols and live happily ever after.<\/p>\n

<\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

Here are the lyrics (accuracy not 100% guaranteed — if you have corrections, let me know). Sing to the tune of Telephone, obviously:<\/p>\n

Phone rings<\/em>
\nGaga: <\/strong>What do you say, BK?<\/p>\n

Beyonce:<\/strong> You gonna tell me the concept for this telephone video or what?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gaga:<\/strong> Well, first of all this song is not as good as Bad Romance
\nAnd it’s not even close to Poker Face or Just Dance
\nSo I will distract them by getting half-naked
\nAnd throw everything at them but the kitchen sink-sink
\nThe kitchen sink-sink
\nWhat do you think-think?
\nI will prove that I don’t have a penis, wink-wink.
\nFirst I’ll get stripped naked by some burly prison guards
\nThen make out with a she-male in the prison yard-yard<\/p>\n

Beyonce:<\/strong> This video seems goofy
\nYou should just do it alone.
\nBesides I’m getting sick of all these songs about phones.<\/p>\n

Gaga:<\/strong> Bail me out of jail then we pause for some bad dialogue
\nWe poison everyone including a cute dog.
\nThen we start to dance and there’s dead people everywhere
\nAs usual, I have lots of crazy crap in my hair.
\nP-p-p-p-p-p-p-product placement.
\nHide d-dead-dead bodies in the b-b-basement
\nBlood and guts and boobs and butts and I just want to make your head explode!
\nBeep-beep-beep-b-b-beep-beep-beep, that was Lady Gaga in Morse Code.<\/p>\n

Beyonce: <\/strong>If you think I’m doing this then you’re a crazy bastard.
\nYou must have blown a gasket.
\nAre you trippin’ on acid?
\nAs a child were you abused by some big crazy bastard?
\nAnd did he ever make you place the lotion in the basket?
\nI just want to do a simple shoot with dancin’
\nYou used to be a diva (?) now you’re Marilyn Manson.<\/p>\n

Gaga:<\/strong> You’re gonna do my video and do it my way.
\nI’d hate for something bad to happen to your family.<\/p>\n

Beyonce: <\/strong>My family-y?<\/p>\n

Gaga:<\/strong> That’s right Beyonce.
\nA piano might accidentally fall on Jay-Z.<\/p>\n

Beyonce: <\/strong>Somebody help me ‘cos I don’t wanna sing anymore.
\nShe’s got a gun to my head on the dance floor.<\/p>\n

Gaga: <\/strong>Rub-a-dub-dub, three nuns in a tub,
\nand they’re doing it with the garden gnome.<\/p>\n

Beyonce:<\/strong> Please don’t beat me up but I have to ask,
\nwhat does it have to do with a telephone?
\n“You crazy bitch! *screams*<\/em>”<\/p>\n

UPDATED MAY 26, 2010: Great interview with Gaga here<\/a>. It’s got nothing to do with this parody. I just needed it on my blog! <\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I adore Lady Gaga, but I think The Key of Awesome’s parody of the Gaga-Beyonce Telephone video is better than the real thing. I can’t stop singing it. If Gaga and Beyonce answered the parody video with a parody of their own — including Wendy Brandes jewelry p-p-p-p-p-p-p-product placement, of course — they would be…<\/p>\n

Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5119,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[298,42],"tags":[473,474],"class_list":["post-5114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-lady-gaga","category-music","tag-beyonce","tag-key-of-awesome","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t