{"id":46824,"date":"2022-02-14T13:39:46","date_gmt":"2022-02-14T18:39:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/?p=46824"},"modified":"2022-02-14T15:19:25","modified_gmt":"2022-02-14T20:19:25","slug":"valentines-jewelry-toi-et-moi-rings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2022\/02\/valentines-jewelry-toi-et-moi-rings\/","title":{"rendered":"Valentine&#8217;s Jewelry: Toi et Moi Rings"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;ve been obsessed with &#8220;toi et moi&#8221; rings since 2013, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2013\/03\/but-i-wanted-this-napoleon-and-josephines-engagement-ring\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">when the diamond and sapphire engagement ring that Napoleon Bonaparte gave to Josephine de Beauharnais went up for auction<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<center><a id=\"7S08aQjASqlHbnElCuVx7A\" class=\"gie-slideshow\" href=\"http:\/\/www.gettyimages.com\/detail\/164289015\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"color:#a7a7a7;text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal !important;border:none;display:inline-block;\" rel=\"noopener\">Embed from Getty Images<\/a><script>window.gie=window.gie||function(c){(gie.q=gie.q||[]).push(c)};gie(function(){gie.widgets.load({id:'7S08aQjASqlHbnElCuVx7A',sig:'KXim4R5bYBnb9uRmqYShJmxSexUrI0T4_5kX5XPVhJw=',w:'594px',h:'394px',items:'164289015,164289030',caption: true ,tld:'com',is360: false })});<\/script><script src=\"\/\/embed-cdn.gettyimages.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\" async=\"\"><\/script><\/center>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But even before then, I liked the double takes that two-stone rings get, no pun intended. In fact, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2007\/08\/big-bold-jewelry\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">one of my earliest designs<\/a> was my two-stone <a href=\"https:\/\/www.1stdibs.com\/jewelry\/rings\/cocktail-rings\/wendy-brandes-black-spinel-rock-crystal-toi-et-moi-ring-18k-gold\/id-j_5019461\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Clemence ring<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.1stdibs.com\/jewelry\/rings\/cocktail-rings\/wendy-brandes-18k-gold-two-stone-toi-et-moi-ring-rock-crystals\/id-j_12878192\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/clemenceblog.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-46828\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/clemenceblog.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/clemenceblog-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/clemenceblog-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/clemenceblog-320x320.jpg 320w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><figcaption>Click to purchase on 1stdibs.com.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A few years ago, I returned to the <em>toi et moi<\/em> (&#8220;you and me&#8221;) style with a literal twist. This award-winning, tourmaline<a href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2017\/08\/jewel-of-the-month-toi-et-moi-ring-for-anza-gems\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> <em>toi et moi<\/em> design for ANZA Gem<\/a>s is also known as a &#8220;bypass ring&#8221; for the way it twists around the finger, leaving the center open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/BXnu6-mgBRC\/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"400\" height=\"369\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/anzaringonblog.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-46832\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/anzaringonblog.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/anzaringonblog-300x277.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><figcaption>Click for a video of the ring in action.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Thank you to JCK for featuring this design in a recent feature about the celebrity-inspired surge in popularity of <em>toi et moi<\/em> engagement rings (and thanks also to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/metalandsmith\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Metal &amp; Smith<\/a> for alerting me to the JCK opportunity).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jckonline.com\/editorial-article\/toi-et-moi-rings\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">READ THE JCK STORY.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The interest in this style has been building for a while, starting with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/emily-ratajkowski-engagement-ring_n_5b4782cde4b0e7c958f91198\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Emily Ratajkowski&#8217;s fabulous double-diamond engagement ring in 2018<\/a>. That was followed by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theknot.com\/content\/ariana-grande-engagement-ring\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Ariana Grande&#8217;s beautiful but impractical-for-non-celebrities diamond-and-pearl engagement ring in 2020<\/a>. But what really solidified <a href=\"https:\/\/people.com\/style\/machine-gun-kelly-designed-megan-fox-unusual-engagement-ring\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">the trend was the emerald-and-diamond ring<\/a> by Stephen Webster that Machine Gun Kelly gave to Megan Fox early this year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CYpdvOgJ4eP\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;ig_rid=c4cd0f44-d01d-44a9-9e34-4c865367f889\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">CHECK OUT THIS RING!<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is yet another variation on the <em>toi et moi<\/em> style, because it&#8217;s actually two rings that fit together. You can do quite a lot of personalization within the <em>toi et moi<\/em> genre. I think Megan&#8217;s ring <em>looks <\/em>gorgeous, and, in general, I much prefer the <em>toi and moi<\/em> style to the previous celebrity default of a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2018\/01\/celebrity-engagement-rings-a-review\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">giant diamond looming over a band that was about as thin as a single hair<\/a>. That said, I cringe to see an emerald in an engagement ring &#8212; not because it&#8217;s not stunning, but because I don&#8217;t recommend such a fragile gem for engagement rings for non-celebrities.  Emeralds aren&#8217;t as delicate as pearls, which are an even bigger no-no, but considering how hard most people are on their engagement rings, I wouldn&#8217;t want to make something like this for my typical customer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2017\/02\/beware-of-nontraditional-gems-in-engagement-rings\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">READ MY 2017 POST ABOUT NONTRADITIONAL ENGAGEMENT-RING GEMS<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">People outside the jewelry industry sometimes scoff at the popularity of diamond engagement rings as a triumph of marketing alone. But diamonds are the #1 hardest gem, and <a href=\"https:\/\/diamond101.com\/are-diamonds-the-hardest-substance-on-earth\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">the most scratch-resistant material we know of<\/a>. For a ring that is worn every day, there&#8217;s <em>nothing<\/em> more practical than a diamond. Rubies and sapphires are the next best things. Emeralds aren&#8217;t in the running. In an industry Facebook group, the question was posed: &#8220;What will you say if a customer comes in asking for a ring like Megan&#8217;s?&#8221; One jeweler cracked me up by replying, &#8220;Even if she does wear it like a thrice-blessed queen &#8230; you can anticipate with fair assurance what that stone is going to look like in 10 years.&#8221; Another jeweler responded, &#8220;I always say, I would be happy to set emeralds for you as long as you are happy to pay to replace when needed.&#8221; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let me stress that this is not a critique of Stephen Webster&#8217;s work on the Megan Fox ring! The normal concerns about wear and tear presumably don&#8217;t apply to the very famous or the very wealthy, who can replace damaged gems when necessary. (Also, it&#8217;s so clever that the ring is really two separate rings &#8212; if Megan insists on wearing her engagement ring to the beach, for instance, she can theoretically leave the emerald at home and wear the much-more-durable diamond alone.) But, as I and other jewelers can testify, the average not-famous customer gets very upset when their engagement ring looks a little worse for wear. I swear, people will wear their ring to the beach (the sand is going to scratch the metal), in the pool, in the shower, to the gym, and drop it down the garbage disposal (seriously!), and then shed real tears when the ring isn&#8217;t as pristine as the day they got it. Even with diamond rings, I emphasize to customers that the ring design should suit the wearer&#8217;s habits and lifestyle, and I&#8217;ve yet to work with someone who has an emerald-engagement-ring lifestyle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another thing about the Megan Fox ring that gave me pause is something <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vogue.com\/article\/machine-gun-kelly-megan-fox-dolce-gabbana-fall-2022-menswear\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Machine Gun Kelly told Vogue<\/a>: &#8220;The bands are actually thorns. So if she tries to take it off, it hurts\u2026 Love is pain!&#8221; Um &#8230;what? First of all, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stephenwebster.com\/collections\/thorn?p=1?p=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Stephen Webster has been doing thorn designs for years<\/a>, if not decades. You can try on his work &#8212; or just study it &#8212; and see that the thorns aren&#8217;t <em>dangerously<\/em> pointy.  Obviously, I haven&#8217;t handled the Megan Fox ring myself. Maybe when she first put it on, or took it off, it did literally scratch her. That&#8217;s something that could be easily fixed. (Years ago, I tried on a designer friend&#8217;s silver bangles and told him to soften the sharp edges because they scratched the hell out of me.) Or maybe this is just a story inspired by Webster&#8217;s design concept. Per Webster&#8217;s website: &#8220;The \u2018Thorn\u2019 collection celebrates an ancient symbol widely used to denote the bittersweet nature of pleasure and pain.&#8221; I don&#8217;t find that description alarming. After all, one of my specialities is poison rings, and I don&#8217;t expect my customers to literally poison anyone. Megan and Kelly have been going for a goth <a href=\"https:\/\/abcnews.go.com\/Entertainment\/story?id=105206\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" title=\"https:\/\/abcnews.go.com\/Entertainment\/story?id=105206\">Angelina-Billy Bob<\/a> vibe with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.latimes.com\/entertainment-arts\/story\/2022-01-13\/megan-fox-machine-gun-kelly-engaged-instagram-blood\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" title=\"https:\/\/www.latimes.com\/entertainment-arts\/story\/2022-01-13\/megan-fox-machine-gun-kelly-engaged-instagram-blood\">blood-drinking proposals<\/a> and whatnot, so I wouldn&#8217;t be surprised if they were inspired to invent a personal mythology around the thorn-themed ring shank. But, read the room, Machine Gun! Unless allegedly blood-drawing rings are worn by both partners, it comes off as toxic and possessive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I do encourage my customers to come up with their own interpretations of pieces that are emotionally important to them. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.1stdibs.com\/jewelry\/rings\/cocktail-rings\/wendy-brandes-18k-gold-dragon-cocktail-ring-spinning-lapis-lazuli-globe\/id-j_5019971\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" title=\"https:\/\/www.1stdibs.com\/jewelry\/rings\/cocktail-rings\/wendy-brandes-18k-gold-dragon-cocktail-ring-spinning-lapis-lazuli-globe\/id-j_5019971\/\">My dragon ring might be inspired by an ancient Chinese empress<\/a>, but that doesn&#8217;t mean you&#8217;re obligated to see any connection to Empress Wu in it. Still, if you&#8217;re going to share your personal conception of my work with the world, I implore you <em>not<\/em> to make it super-awkward for everyone! Anyway, I&#8217;m going to wrap up this post so I can get to work on a custom ring featuring a luscious but still-practical ruby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"400\" height=\"323\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/rubyforblog.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-46835\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/rubyforblog.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/rubyforblog-300x242.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><figcaption>This is a beauty!<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you want to discuss any kind of custom design, holla at me at info at wendybrandes dot com or direct message me on social media. I always say that if you can describe it, I can create it. Who knows? Maybe you&#8217;ll be the person who finally convinces me to make an emerald engagement ring.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">UPDATED TO ADD: <a href=\"https:\/\/thezingreport.com\/2022\/02\/bridal-trend-toi-et-moi-rings\/?utm_campaign=The%20Zing%20Report&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;_hsmi=203411832&amp;_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8P_x7vkQnbDpL1CWcn4LP-2aOPt5Ll2s6wZg430PF-RGfb3MefbVBp-8MIa_ucrl45XO6BAmbH0_4GcoRTGSIzO5rNJQ&amp;utm_content=203411832&amp;utm_source=hs_email\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Zing Report<\/a> has a piece on <em>toi et moi<\/em> rings too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been obsessed with &#8220;toi et moi&#8221; rings since 2013, when the diamond and sapphire engagement ring that Napoleon Bonaparte gave to Josephine de Beauharnais went up for auction. Embed from Getty Images But even before then, I liked the double takes that two-stone rings get, no pun intended. In fact, one of my earliest&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2022\/02\/valentines-jewelry-toi-et-moi-rings\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":46828,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10,120,291,703,101,295,719,43,16,6,723,586,118],"tags":[733,838,964,1397,1386],"class_list":["post-46824","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-celebrities","category-diamonds","category-featured-jewel","category-gems","category-holidays","category-jewel-of-the-month","category-jewelry","category-my-designs","category-press","category-rings","category-special-occasions","category-valentines-day-2","category-weddings","tag-anza-gems","tag-bridal-jewelry","tag-engagement-rings","tag-toi-et-moi","tag-wedding-jewelry","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46824","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46824"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46824\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46840,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46824\/revisions\/46840"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/46828"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}