{"id":372,"date":"2008-01-17T09:33:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-17T16:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendybrandes.com\/blog\/?p=372"},"modified":"2016-11-27T23:39:54","modified_gmt":"2016-11-28T04:39:54","slug":"thursday-book-club-empress-wu-part-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2008\/01\/thursday-book-club-empress-wu-part-ii\/","title":{"rendered":"Thursday Book Club: Empress Wu, Part II"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Welcome back to the increasingly erratic Thursday Book Club! In my last <a href=\"http:\/\/wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/thursday-book-club-empress-wu-part-i\/\">real Book Club post<\/a>, I discussed Empress Wu, the only woman in the history of China to be called &#8220;emperor&#8221; during her lifetime. Since then, I&#8217;ve done a couple of fake Book Club post about <a href=\"http:\/\/wbjewelry.blogspot.com\/2007\/12\/thursday-book-club-im-faking-it.html\">Christopher Walken&#8217;s ass<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/wbjewelry.blogspot.com\/2008\/01\/book-club-shopping-under-influence.html\">books I bought while drunk<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>This is the perfect time to do a follow-up post on Empress Wu, because the rap group <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wutang-corp.com\/index.php\">Wu-Tang Clan<\/a> is playing New York&#8217;s Hammerstein Ballroom this very night. Tickets are <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ticketmaster.com\/event\/00003F8AD409AD6C?artistid=896829&amp;majorcatid=10001&amp;minorcatid=3\">still available<\/a>. Sadly, there is an eight-ticket limit per person. If you are a Chinese emperor who has a very large harem, you might not be able to buy tickets for all of your concubines under one credit card. Also, Chinese emperor, I regret to tell you that even though the Clan is <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Wu-Tang_Clan\">named after a location in China<\/a> famed for its martial arts, there are no actual Chinese people in the group.<\/p>\n<p><center><\/p>\n<div class=\"getty embed image\" style=\"background-color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-family:'Helvetica Neue',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif;color:#a7a7a7;font-size:11px;width:100%;max-width:594px;\">\n<div style=\"padding:0;margin:0;text-align:left;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.gettyimages.com\/detail\/79203138\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"color:#a7a7a7;text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal !important;border:none;display:inline-block;\">Embed from Getty Images<\/a><\/div>\n<div style=\"overflow:hidden;position:relative;height:0;padding:100.000000% 0 0 0;width:100%;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/embed.gettyimages.com\/embed\/79203138?et=qIhZ1_knRHp43CY7GgWeJw&#038;viewMoreLink=on&#038;sig=qiRnIxv1fB5SDfuNtN2Qzn-2jKWOj6MCl8sVoq8ASqY=&#038;caption=true\" width=\"594\" height=\"594\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"display:inline-block;position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;margin:0;\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p style=\"margin:0;\">\n<\/div>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<p>The Wu-Tang guys always have good names. Chinese emperors made up their names too, but no one ever came up with Emperor <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Ol%27_Dirty_Bastard\">Ol&#8217; Dirty Bastard<\/a>. ODB was one of the founding Wu-Tang members; he died of an overdose in 2004, two days before he turned 36. That&#8217;s not old at all. He was more of a Young Dirty Bastard. Maybe that&#8217;s why his other aliases included Big Baby Jesus. Anyway, other original members of the group included RZA (&#8220;rizza&#8221;), GZA (&#8220;jizza&#8221;), Method Man and Masta Killa. If you want to find out what your Wu-Tang name is, go to the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.recordstore.com\/wuname\/wuname.pl\">WuName Generator<\/a>, enter your name and click &#8220;Wu am I?&#8221; I am &#8220;Sullen Choirboy.&#8221;<br \/>\n<center><\/p>\n<div class=\"getty embed image\" style=\"background-color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-family:'Helvetica Neue',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif;color:#a7a7a7;font-size:11px;width:100%;max-width:408px;\">\n<div style=\"padding:0;margin:0;text-align:left;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.gettyimages.com\/detail\/74306888\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"color:#a7a7a7;text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal !important;border:none;display:inline-block;\">Embed from Getty Images<\/a><\/div>\n<div style=\"overflow:hidden;position:relative;height:0;padding:145.588235% 0 0 0;width:100%;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/embed.gettyimages.com\/embed\/74306888?et=HYPCR4J0RVhhnPpK76DRMA&#038;viewMoreLink=on&#038;sig=ym7jqN_bpq_1PQCZwXsM9YZssM5P3PjmPjPWnWQZPvE=&#038;caption=true\" width=\"408\" height=\"594\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"display:inline-block;position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;margin:0;\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p style=\"margin:0;\">\n<\/div>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: left;\">Anyway, if you put all those Wu-Tang rappers together, they wouldn&#8217;t be half as tough as Empress Wu. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Empress-Novel-Shana-Sa\/dp\/0060817585\">Empress<\/a>, a novel by Shan Sa, does a good job of conveying Wu&#8217;s kill-or-be-killed attitude. It includes one of the most famous stories about her. When the <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Emperor_Taizong_of_Tang_China\">Emperor Taizong<\/a> had a mean, wild horse that no one could tame, Wu, one of the lower-ranking concubines, offered to do it. All she needed was a whip, a hammer and a dagger. &#8220;First, I shall give him a lesson with the whip,&#8221; she said. &#8220;If he disobeys me, I shall blow him on the head with the hammer. If he still rebels, I shall slit his throat.&#8221; The Emperor was totally <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Lol\">LOL<\/a> over this, because that&#8217;s exactly how he was dealing with some annoying ethnic groups that needed conquering.<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/shawbros.typepad.com\/shaw\/2006\/05\/empress_wu.html\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5145881894482327666\" style=\"margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;\" src=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/R2nYUai7uHI\/AAAAAAAABho\/b8-Z3Vk6KMM\/s320\/empresswumovie.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><span style=\"font-size: 85%;\"><span style=\"font-style: italic;\">Actress <\/span><a style=\"font-style: italic;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.geocities.com\/xiao3mi1\/\">Li Li Hua<\/a><span style=\"font-style: italic;\"> played the title role in the 1963 movie <a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/title\/tt0195416\/\">Empress Wu<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p>The novel has plenty of good sex scenes, which would no doubt delight Wu biographer <a href=\"http:\/\/wbjewelry.blogspot.com\/2007\/12\/thursday-book-club-empress-wu-part-i.html\">Nigel Cawthorne<\/a>, but it outdoes him in the girl-on-girl department. Or, rather, the concubine-on-concubine department. Hey, the ladies didn&#8217;t get to see the emperor that often. They had to do something to while away the hours.<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hkcinemagic.com\/en\/gallery.asp?pid=1821&amp;id=30595#pic\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5145881559474878546\" style=\"margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;\" src=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/R2nYA6i7uFI\/AAAAAAAABhY\/kUw2G--QRbU\/s320\/empresswumovie2.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><span style=\"font-size: 85%;\"><span style=\"font-style: italic;\">Li Li Hu as &#8220;Crazy Eyes&#8221; Wu<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p>As delightful as the love scenes are, I much prefer the Wu we get after she outplays, outwits and outlasts two emperors and takes over personally. In a speech to the Forbidden City she says, &#8220;I am not afraid of treacherous, rebellious men.&#8221; She goes on to name three rebels and list all their intimidating qualities. &#8220;Those three men were believed to be indomitable! When they tried to betray me, I cut off their heads.&#8221; Suckas!<\/p>\n<p>Empress is the kind of historical novel I really like. Wu&#8217;s head-chopping habit is placed in the context of the societal and political challenges of her time, giving her justification without making her a misunderstood innocent. She&#8217;s neither a sociopathic dragon lady nor a slandered sweetie-pie. At the end, when her spirit meditates on the centuries that have passed since her reign and on her own reputation, I had tears in my eyes. Wu really did request that her stele, or gravestone, be left blank. The fictional empress says, &#8220;Some see this lack of inscription as a symbol of my humility: I wanted to give men the opportunity to inscribe it with their blame or their praise. Others interpret it as an expression of overweening pride from a woman who became emperor: No one can comment on my destiny.&#8221; I&#8217;m voting for option #2. No one should dare comment on her! Except for me. I would love to go visit her gravestone one day. After, all the world will marvel at the <a href=\"http:\/\/lemontartletsandwinegums.blogspot.com\/2008\/01\/cherry-lips.html\">red-lipstick message<\/a> that has appeared as if by magic on the blank tablet: <a href=\"http:\/\/wbjewelry.blogspot.com\/2008\/01\/kneel-before-wendy-brandes.html\">KNEEL BEFORE WU<\/a>.<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/www.chinamuseums.com\/qianlingm.htm\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5156483200913752642\" style=\"margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/R4-CJqi7wkI\/AAAAAAAAB1I\/-AdQtK2_3q8\/s320\/qianling3.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><span style=\"font-size: 85%;\"><span style=\"font-style: italic;\">The blank monument to Wu<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p> <\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Welcome back to the increasingly erratic Thursday Book Club! In my last real Book Club post, I discussed Empress Wu, the only woman in the history of China to be called &#8220;emperor&#8221; during her lifetime. Since then, I&#8217;ve done a couple of fake Book Club post about Christopher Walken&#8217;s ass and books I bought while&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2008\/01\/thursday-book-club-empress-wu-part-ii\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[38,46,42,37],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-372","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-book-club","7":"category-feminism","8":"category-music","9":"category-queens","10":"entry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/372","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=372"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/372\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34775,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/372\/revisions\/34775"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=372"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=372"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=372"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}