{"id":262,"date":"2007-11-21T22:06:00","date_gmt":"2007-11-22T05:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wendybrandes.com\/blog\/?p=262"},"modified":"2016-10-13T13:49:41","modified_gmt":"2016-10-13T17:49:41","slug":"ten-paces-turn-and-fire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2007\/11\/ten-paces-turn-and-fire\/","title":{"rendered":"Ten Paces, Turn and Fire"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This is for <a href=\"http:\/\/hilarytheguy.blogspot.com\/\">Pistols at Dawn<\/a>, who dared to say latex was &#8220;hot on ladies, scary on dudes.&#8221; Well, think again, PAD! David Lee Roth is here to prove you wrong!<\/p>\n<p><center><\/p>\n<div class=\"getty embed image\" style=\"background-color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-family:'Helvetica Neue',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif;color:#a7a7a7;font-size:11px;width:100%;max-width:397px;\">\n<div style=\"padding:0;margin:0;text-align:left;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.gettyimages.com\/detail\/107101677\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"color:#a7a7a7;text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal !important;border:none;display:inline-block;\">Embed from Getty Images<\/a><\/div>\n<div style=\"overflow:hidden;position:relative;height:0;padding:149.622166% 0 0 0;width:100%;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/embed.gettyimages.com\/embed\/107101677?et=XJA8dNw7TzBf3DVnZN1IWw&#038;viewMoreLink=on&#038;sig=8bjRHdTQenW4nCCjmXejfwTUs3HLCytpT10kyePCXmA=&#038;caption=true\" width=\"397\" height=\"594\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"display:inline-block;position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;margin:0;\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p style=\"margin:0;\">\n<\/div>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<p>Apologies accepted.*<\/p>\n<p>Quite a few years ago, I spent a pleasant evening with David Lee Roth after meeting him in a strip club. No, peeps, I wasn&#8217;t a stripper! I was a bouncer. I am small, but mean. Seriously, I just give that up-and-down look that takes in your outfit and stamps it &#8220;REJECTED&#8221; and grown men break down and cry.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, happy Thanksgiving to all you sex-ay U.S. bitches! You know how they make pumpkin pie, right?<\/p>\n<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/R0TOflEKqmI\/AAAAAAAABZM\/fUKPZ-QN__4\/s1600-h\/pumpkin+shot.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/R0TOflEKqmI\/AAAAAAAABZM\/fUKPZ-QN__4\/s320\/pumpkin+shot.jpg\" alt=\"\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5135456517030062690\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><br \/>I&#8217;d show you what goes on at the <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Tofurkey\">tofurkey<\/a> farm but it&#8217;s too upsetting, what with all the panicked tofurkeys screaming and trying to escape from crazy <a href=\"http:\/\/nymag.com\/daily\/intel\/2007\/11\/heather_mills_makes_us_crazy.html\">Heather Mills<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><center><\/p>\n<div class=\"getty embed image\" style=\"background-color:#fff;display:inline-block;font-family:'Helvetica Neue',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif;color:#a7a7a7;font-size:11px;width:100%;max-width:420px;\">\n<div style=\"padding:0;margin:0;text-align:left;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.gettyimages.com\/detail\/117925190\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"color:#a7a7a7;text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal !important;border:none;display:inline-block;\">Embed from Getty Images<\/a><\/div>\n<div style=\"overflow:hidden;position:relative;height:0;padding:141.428571% 0 0 0;width:100%;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/embed.gettyimages.com\/embed\/117925190?et=fGgt5mYoScFaQ7wgxpTNTA&#038;viewMoreLink=on&#038;sig=awcMx_qn_n2drN1imCRS09eBOE4Kb6V07Z6HKymRJAM=&#038;caption=true\" width=\"420\" height=\"594\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"display:inline-block;position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;margin:0;\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p style=\"margin:0;\">\n<\/div>\n<p><\/center> <\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is for Pistols at Dawn, who dared to say latex was &#8220;hot on ladies, scary on dudes.&#8221; Well, think again, PAD! David Lee Roth is here to prove you wrong! Embed from Getty Images Apologies accepted.* Quite a few years ago, I spent a pleasant evening with David Lee Roth after meeting him in&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/2007\/11\/ten-paces-turn-and-fire\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12,10,5,95,92],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-262","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-blogs-and-bloggers","7":"category-celebrities","8":"category-insanity","9":"category-murdock","10":"category-nablopomo","11":"entry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=262"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34415,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262\/revisions\/34415"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wendybrandes.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}