![\"\"](\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/Ry6BCUK8StI\/AAAAAAAABOE\/ZV2F3Xz5CDY\/s320\/20071103_0772.JPG\")
<\/a>Help! I’ve fallen into a bandage dress and I can’t get out!<\/span><\/span><\/div>\nI consoled myself by thinking, “Straight men think this is the Best!Dress!Ever!” Of course, straight men also like Hooters outfits and I never wear one of those except behind closed doors. Ha ha! That’s a lie. I actually prefer a cottontail and bunny ears for a perkier blogging experience.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I was proven correct in my straight-men theory when I received an email from a (straight, male) friend whom I shall call “Thomas Wriothesley<\/a>.” Thomas wrote: “i must say yr dress was spectacular — OMG OMG OMG … since you were reluctant to go up and down even one stair, i figured asking you to polish my shoes was outta the question HAHAHAHA.” Oh, look, there goes my husband out the door. He’s muttering something about “kicking that guy’s ass.”<\/p>\n Despite this rave review, I decided that when I wear this dress again, as I must in order to amortize the cost, I might feel less naked with closed-toe shoes, tights, a cottontail and\/or a burka.<\/p>\n Luckily, my uncomfortable outfit and the glares of other women did not lessen my enjoyment of the play we went to see. “A Royal Mess” is a comedy about Henry VIII<\/a> and Anne of Cleves<\/a>. Really! It was like it was written just for me. My friend, “Thomas Wriothesley,” is a member of the amateur theater club<\/a> that put on the production and he played Thomas Wriothesley<\/a>. I was going to encourage everyone in New York to go see this, when I noticed that it’s by invitation only. Ooh la la! Very exclusive, Thomas!<\/p>\n We all had drinks after the play and I tipsily lectured several people at length about Henry, AnneC<\/a>, Katherine Howard<\/a> and assorted other Tudor figures. When I stopped to take a breath, they all ran for their lives, except for a bunch of guys who wanted me to polish their shoes.<\/p>\n But what really made my night was Thomas’s discovery of the New York Post’s coverage of Henry VIII<\/a>. And this image from the club’s newsletter.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/Ry_1cEK8SzI\/AAAAAAAABO0\/VOdDI0Po9jc\/s320\/blacksquare.jpg\")
<\/a>Full-length photo has been censored.
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![\"\"](\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_gTmdbGeiE-E\/Ry_yn0K8SyI\/AAAAAAAABOs\/yIAqj4HrNLk\/s320\/henryannesilly.jpg\")
<\/a>I just noticed that the newsletter says, “Ushers will deny admittance to those who are inappropriately attired.” Whew! Close call for me. <\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"