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Earthquakes for Idiots

May 13, 2008 by WendyB

Dear comment-writers on various news sites:

Earthquakes, such as the devastating one that just occurred in China, are not caused by global warming or American imperialism. In fact, idiots, earthquakes occurred long before the greenhouse effect or the U.S. even existed. The earliest recorded evidence of an earthquake dates back to 1831 BC, also in China. While earthquakes caused by human activity (specifically, the injection of fluids into deep wells for waste disposal and secondary recovery of oil, and the use of reservoirs for water supplies) have been documented, the primary cause is plate tectonics. If you don’t understand “plate tectonics,” consider searching for it on teh Interweb. I realize you’ll have to take a rare break from searching for “tit jewelry” to do that. Sometimes education demands sacrifice.

Love,
Wendy

For the rest of you:

This security camera video shows the earthquake starting at about five minutes. I was getting concerned for the receptionist, but she finally left the building. Everyone seemed to know what to do and went straight out the door. You can see how strong the quake was from the sloshing of the fish bowl.

Very scary.

If you want to write a check this very second to an aid group, I’m sure that will make you feel great but it is unlikely to do anything for people in China. Individuals who want instant karma often respond to catastrophes with frantic pledging, but how is your $50 of aid going to be distributed to the people on the ground? Beijing hasn’t even asked for aid from the U.S. government yet (as of the time I’m posting this). I think it’s best to wait and see what needs people have after the initial disaster is dealt with.

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Filed Under: In the News

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. CDP says

    May 13, 2008 at 7:48 am

    I’m pretty liberal but it drives me crazy, too, when people attribute absolutely EVERYTHING to George Bush or evil corporations. Sometimes s*** just happens. I heard on the Today show this morning that China has reached out (not specifically to the US–they’ve said that they’ll gladly accept aid from any country). That was a very sad story.

  2. zoeeeee says

    May 13, 2008 at 7:50 am

    hahahaha i love your note.
    gotta love amerr’ca

  3. WendyB says

    May 13, 2008 at 7:50 am

    People used to blame earthquakes on God’s wrath, now it’s global warming.

  4. newbestobsession says

    May 13, 2008 at 8:09 am

    Poor fishies! lol

    Seems very scarey, can’t imagine anything like this happening here, and I’m really glad I can’t.

    xoxo

  5. La Belette Rouge says

    May 13, 2008 at 8:12 am

    No, really? There are folks who are blaming the earth quakes on global warming? Can I blame my frown lines on global warming?

  6. Lynn says

    May 13, 2008 at 8:13 am

    Haha… i used to get scared when u get angry, but now i find it cute and funny! I know this is totally unrelated but I think your jewelries are very earth shattering though..

  7. WendyB says

    May 13, 2008 at 8:27 am

    Weasel, I was just thinking of you because I saw a new frown line and was like, “Hey, didn’t I delegate worrying about this to Weasel? WTF!”
    Lynn, no need to be scared unless you make me angry. “You won’t like me when I’m angry!” I get all green and muscle-y.

  8. glamour girly says

    May 13, 2008 at 8:43 am

    I agree completely with your note! Hilarious. We have had natural disasters on this planet for a very long time!

  9. Lynn says

    May 13, 2008 at 8:44 am

    Naaahhh… hulk just doesn’t go along with you… you’re too cute for all that.

  10. Susie Bubble says

    May 13, 2008 at 9:08 am

    What IDIOT is saying George Bush causes earthquakes…how scary and bizarre…

  11. Imelda says

    May 13, 2008 at 11:17 am

    It must be so scary during an earthcake! I would be so scared!

  12. Miss Janey says

    May 13, 2008 at 11:35 am

    W is an asshole. But he cannot make an earthquake. Are people really that dumb???

    Being in an earthquake is scary as hell. Especially when they happen before the sun is up, like the Northridge quake. Then of course the electricity stops working…

    Miss J is holding positive thoughts for those suffering, that relief comes quickly.

  13. Emily says

    May 13, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    Such a great, insightful post. I too am quite liberal, but feel as though people’s obsession with pointing fingers has gone way overboard…hence the term ‘natural’ disasters.

  14. Becky says

    May 13, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    What a strange, silent video. It’s hard to credit something that looks relatively manageable on film (as opposed to say, a Hollywood earthquake movie) could be so deadly.

    Thank you WB for spreading your science/fashion/natural history wisdom across the internet!

    Becky

  15. pistols at dawn says

    May 13, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    Ironically, it was the energy used pressing millions of DVDs of “An Inconvenient Truth” that caused this earthquake.

  16. enc says

    May 13, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    I’ve been awakened from a sound sleep by ‘quakes. Very, very freaky.

    This story really depressed me, coming right on the heels of the cyclone story. So so so much devastation.

  17. In Yr Fshn/ Young and In Love says

    May 15, 2008 at 11:59 am

    That’s so scary and I feel awful that my first thought was, “Oh gosh, that poor girl. Being a receptionist is incredibly boring…”

    What a crazy video.

  18. WendyB says

    May 15, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    Don’t worry, Jenn. I thought the same thing: “This job is excrutiating!”

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Award-winning designer of fine jewelry inspired by women's history and pop culture. A former journalist who writes about jewelry, fashion, medieval history, news, feminism, dogs, cats and whatever else is on her mind. Blogging since 2007.
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