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“As Usual, I Have Lots of Crazy Crap in My Hair”

April 13, 2010 by WendyB

I adore Lady Gaga, but I think The Key of Awesome’s parody of the Gaga-Beyonce Telephone video is better than the real thing. I can’t stop singing it.

In the parody, Gaga threatens Jay-Z in order to get Beyonce to do a video.

If Gaga and Beyonce answered the parody video with a parody of their own — including Wendy Brandes jewelry p-p-p-p-p-p-p-product placement, of course — they would be my idols. Don’t worry! They wouldn’t replace my longtime idol, Coco. They would all be co-idols and live happily ever after.

Here are the lyrics (accuracy not 100% guaranteed — if you have corrections, let me know). Sing to the tune of Telephone, obviously:

Phone rings
Gaga: What do you say, BK?

Beyonce: You gonna tell me the concept for this telephone video or what?

Gaga: Well, first of all this song is not as good as Bad Romance
And it’s not even close to Poker Face or Just Dance
So I will distract them by getting half-naked
And throw everything at them but the kitchen sink-sink
The kitchen sink-sink
What do you think-think?
I will prove that I don’t have a penis, wink-wink.
First I’ll get stripped naked by some burly prison guards
Then make out with a she-male in the prison yard-yard

Beyonce: This video seems goofy
You should just do it alone.
Besides I’m getting sick of all these songs about phones.

Gaga: Bail me out of jail then we pause for some bad dialogue
We poison everyone including a cute dog.
Then we start to dance and there’s dead people everywhere
As usual, I have lots of crazy crap in my hair.
P-p-p-p-p-p-p-product placement.
Hide d-dead-dead bodies in the b-b-basement
Blood and guts and boobs and butts and I just want to make your head explode!
Beep-beep-beep-b-b-beep-beep-beep, that was Lady Gaga in Morse Code.

Beyonce: If you think I’m doing this then you’re a crazy bastard.
You must have blown a gasket.
Are you trippin’ on acid?
As a child were you abused by some big crazy bastard?
And did he ever make you place the lotion in the basket?
I just want to do a simple shoot with dancin’
You used to be a diva (?) now you’re Marilyn Manson.

Gaga: You’re gonna do my video and do it my way.
I’d hate for something bad to happen to your family.

Beyonce: My family-y?

Gaga: That’s right Beyonce.
A piano might accidentally fall on Jay-Z.

Beyonce: Somebody help me ‘cos I don’t wanna sing anymore.
She’s got a gun to my head on the dance floor.

Gaga: Rub-a-dub-dub, three nuns in a tub,
and they’re doing it with the garden gnome.

Beyonce: Please don’t beat me up but I have to ask,
what does it have to do with a telephone?
“You crazy bitch! *screams*”

UPDATED MAY 26, 2010: Great interview with Gaga here. It’s got nothing to do with this parody. I just needed it on my blog!

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Filed Under: lady gaga, music Tagged With: beyonce, key of awesome

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Benedicte says

    April 13, 2010 at 1:13 am

    haha, i love that video!

  2. Lenya Jones says

    April 13, 2010 at 3:06 am

    Isn’t this hilariousness! My favourite line is “rub a dub dub, three nuns in the tub doing it with a garden gnome”.

  3. Julia, the Thanksgiving Girl says

    April 13, 2010 at 3:12 am

    Lol at co-idols! Can’t wait to check out the parody, will do so later tonight 🙂

  4. Make Do Style says

    April 13, 2010 at 3:58 am

    Brilliant! I think your current p p p p product placement is a winner as well…lots of posts on your earrings xx

  5. Couture Carrie says

    April 13, 2010 at 9:22 am

    Fab parody!

    xoxox,
    CC

  6. Suzanne aka Punk Glam Queen says

    April 13, 2010 at 9:25 am

    I so needed to laugh thank you! (I actually have what might be considered crazy shit in my hair right now!)
    XXX
    Suzanne

  7. Marian says

    April 13, 2010 at 10:32 am

    BRILLIANT, hahhaha i wonder if Gaga and Beyonce have seen the video.
    xoxo
    marian

  8. April says

    April 13, 2010 at 10:34 am

    hahahahahh this is the BEST THING EVER, thanks so much for sharing! haaaaaaaa i can’t stop watching it and laughing and then watching it again.

  9. Poochie says

    April 13, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    How could you NOT love this. It’s awesome.

  10. Tina says

    April 13, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    HIGHLARIOUS!

  11. fritha louise says

    April 13, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    Oh my god this is amazing!

  12. Nubiasnonsense says

    April 13, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    lmao I saw this on Perez also I thought it was hilarious. Awesome I love it.

  13. Alicia says

    April 13, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Yeah, I’m reposting this tomorrow.

    You get full credit for this discovery.

    • WendyB says

      April 13, 2010 at 4:37 pm

      I think I’m the 10 millionth person to “discover” the video, but I’ll happily take credit anyway. I did write out the lyrics myself! By the way, if you see any mistakes in those let me know so I can fix them. There were about three lines I wasn’t totally sure of.

  14. Arushi Khosla says

    April 13, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    I think I just about bust a gut laughing.

  15. Vyque says

    April 13, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    Alyssa and I are gonna see her in concert in Sept! I already had a dream about picking my outfit and yes it involved drag queen wigs 😉

  16. stacy says

    April 13, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    To quote Beyonce, “You crazy bitch.”
    Can’t believe you took the time to type out all the lyrics. That’s love, WendyB. Love for Gaga. OK, I’m gonna say it… you’re gaga for Gaga! Well, I’m kookoo for cocoa puffs, so….

  17. Eric says

    April 13, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    Women in just caution tape, now there’s a trend we can heartily endorse. No, really, I wasn’t kidding.

  18. La Belette Rouge says

    April 13, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    I hope Coco appreciates your loyalty!

  19. Sher says

    April 13, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    You are multi talented. Submit it to Gaga 😉

    And when I first saw that jail scene I cracked up
    laughing! Of course I had to explain it to the rest of my household.

  20. apparellel says

    April 14, 2010 at 3:40 am

    that was great wendy. thanks for the laugh, and taking the time to type out those lyrics.

    xxx
    t

  21. Ella Mode says

    April 14, 2010 at 4:50 am

    Wow, that was kind of better. And the lyrics have discernible meaning.

    I love GaGa\’s music, but not her videos. I\’m the lame type who likes things to be literal, but I guess this Beyoncé is kind of with me.

    I also think I\’m the only person who just really loves GaGa\’s music, and is not really into her look too much. (Except I am all eyes on her Birkin stunt.)

    Just love good pop music, and hers is the best because the lyrics (usually) have deeper meanings about pop culture = the best!

    By the way, I think you might like my post today on GaGa\’s Birkin, but I\’d love to hear your thoughts either way!

  22. Marian says

    April 14, 2010 at 8:28 am

    wishing you a gorgeous day!
    xoxo
    marian.

  23. Queen Michelle says

    April 14, 2010 at 10:20 am

    I know jackshit about Lady GaGa, or Beyonce for that matter, but those lyrics are hilarious!

  24. Sabine says

    April 14, 2010 at 10:49 am

    Whoever came up with this – THANK YOU! Hilarious, I really had to lol! Thanks Wendy (who cares if you were the 10 millionth)

  25. Jennifer says

    April 14, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    I do love the Telephone song but not as much as Bad Romance. I’m glad they agree. That video is awesome. Thanks for sharing!

  26. Denise @ Swelle says

    April 14, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    Ba ha ha!!! Awesome.

  27. Winnie says

    April 14, 2010 at 7:49 pm

    Oh my goodness. This parody is brilliant!! I am subscribing to them on youtube. It’s hilarious!

  28. deja pseu says

    April 14, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    1. Love the Miu Miu clogs.

    2. That video is a scream. I’m sending to my sister so she can scream too.

  29. Pearl Westwood says

    April 15, 2010 at 5:15 am

    Thats hilarious!!!

  30. pretty face says

    April 15, 2010 at 6:54 am

    Hahaa. I watched it on your excellent recommendation. Still don’t think it’s as funny as the English video, but it’s a close second 😉 xxx

  31. enc says

    April 16, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    Sweeeeeeet!

  32. Prêt à Porter P says

    April 23, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    LOL!!!!!!

  33. Alya says

    April 25, 2010 at 6:22 am

    This was hilarious! “A piano might accidentally fall on Jay-Z” and “Rub a Dub Dub” are my favorite lines!

  34. Julie Anne Rhodes says

    May 26, 2010 at 1:43 am

    Brilliant!

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MEET WENDY BRANDES

Award-winning designer of fine jewelry inspired by women's history and pop culture. A former journalist who writes about jewelry, fashion, medieval history, news, feminism, dogs, cats and whatever else is on her mind. Blogging since 2007.
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